Beer Heaven in Lake Stevens, WA

There are times when I suddenly realize that some of the coolest places around are within a short drive of our house. As a purveyor of fine ales, I had one of those golden moments a couple of months ago when I discovered Norm's Market. I know that we're lucky to live in a region that's rich in microbreweries filled with stellar establishments to sample them.

Norm's: a seemingly mild mannered mini-mart bursting with malt and hops

But I was completely unprepared for what I learned was in nearby Lake Stevens, WA. On the outside it looks like your garden variety Shell Mini-Mart and gas station. But it's beer-o-mania on the inside. Not only do they have walls and walls loaded with refrigerators filled with bottled beer from everywhere you can imagine. Their walk-in cooler boasts an inventory of 52 quality micros on draft, all of which are vying for a spot in your 64 ounce growler that they're happy to fill for you. That's right: fifty two. One for each week of the year. But you'll need to drink at a faster pace than that since different products are being rotated in every couple of weeks or so.

For the beer connoisseur Norm's Market is Mecca. It rivals any place in the city of Seattle, 45 minutes away. Check it out. It's well worth a visit. Or several.

BowlingJoe next to the menu: 52 beers on tap waiting to fill your growler

Norm's Market is on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/normsmarket

Everett Herald article about Norm's: http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20110628/LIVING/706299980

Here is a recent sample of growler fill offerings... all $9.99 (unless otherwise marked) That's only $2.50 a pint if you do the math!!!

1. Southern Tier Pumpkin (New York) 8.6% $13.99
2. Dogfish Head Chicory Stout 14.99
3. Samuel Adams Double Pumpkin Ale 8.5% ( Boston,Ma) Sale $9.99
4. Mac N Jacks Blackcat Porter 5.3% (Redmond)
5. Mac' N Jacks Serengeti Wheat 4.7%
6. Mac & Jack Two Tun Ipa 7% (Redmond, Wa)
7. Mac 'n Jack's African Amber Ale 5.2% (Redmond)
8. Mac 'n Jack's Cascadian Dark Ale 6.9 (Redmond)
9. Hibernation Ale 8.8% $11.99
10. Humbolt Brewing Co. Nectar IPA (Ca) 6.8%
11. Big E's Rootbeer Non-Alcoholic (Lynwood)
12. Dogfish Head 90 Min IPA $15.99
13. Sleigh'R Double Alt Ale (Ninkasi) 9.99
14. Ninkasi Tricerahops 8.8% (OR) $11.99
15. Manny's Pale Ale (Georgetown) $9.99
16. Men's Room Original Red (Seattle) Eylsian Brewing 5.6%
17. Organic Abominable Winter Ale Hub Brew 7.3% (OR) $12.99
18. Stella Artois German Lager
19. Steelhead Dbl IPA -Mad River Brewery 11.99
20. Imperial Coconut Porter Maui Brewing Co. (Hi) $14.99
21. Spire Dark and Dry Cider $12.99
22. Diamond Knot HO HO $11.99
23. Super Cru Lips of Faith 10% (CO) $12.99
24. Georgetown Porter, Georgetown Seattle $9.99
25. New Belgium Down Under w/Passion Fruit (Seattle) 12.99
26. Stone Arrogant Bastard (CA) 7.2%
27. North Sound Goosetown Brown 6.8% (Mt. Vernon) $9.99
28. Scuttlebutt 10' Below 7.4% (Everett)
29. Great Divide Smoked Baltic Porter (Co) 7.5% $12.99
30. Autumn IPAnox- Cascade Brewery 6.7% (OR) $12.99
31. Firestone Velvet Merlin Oatmeal Stout $10.99
32. Lenny's R.I.P.A. He'Brew 10% (Saratoga Springs, N.Y.) $14.99
33. Widmer Brrrr 7.2% $18.99
34. Big E Cinnamon Sour (Lynnwood, Wa) $11.99
35. Diamond Knot Industrial Pale Ale (Mukilteo) 7.9% $10.99
36. Mt. Shasta Jalapeno (Ca) $14.99
37. Pyramid Imperial Hefeweizen 7.5%
38. Cascade Brewing Imperial Amber 7.2% (OR) $12.99
39. Great Divide Fresh Hop Pale Ale (Co) 6.1% $12.99
40. Irish Death Iron Horse Brewery (Ellensburg)
41. Wingman Porter 9.99
42. Big E Winter Blackberry Ale 7.2% (Lynwood)
43. Southern Tier Creme Brulee 19.99
44. Hooegarden Belgina beer $10.99
45. Stone Levitation Ale 4.4% (CA)
46. Fearless Mjoldir Double IPA 8% $10.99
47. The Vaporizer Pale Ale- Double Mountain Brewery 6% (OR)
48. Effen Heffen Skookum (Arlington, Wa)
49. Dogfish Head Chateau Jiahu 10% (DE) 19.99
50. Judith Yeast, Beer Valley (Or) $12.99
51. Hop Dog Double Wheat IPA, Midnight Sun Brew. (AK) $18.99
52. North Sound Imperial Red $14.99

Norm's has an incredible selection of bottled beers from everywhere

The Name of the Dish is Turducken

We were in the mood to try something new for Thanksgiving this year. Not that we have anything against putting a turkey in a smoker for several hours as we have the last few years. We figured we'd do that also. But 2011, for better or for worse, goes down as The Year of the Turducken.

In the package, thawed and ready to cook

This is shorthand for Turkey, Duck and Chicken. In case you're wondering there isn't a Turducken farm where you can go get one of these birds. At least not on this planet. Most of these Frankenbirds are constructed in the south. We happened to have acquired ours frozen and ready to cook, shipped from Lake Charles, Louisiana.

I'm sure there are various ways to construct them, but ours started with a de-boned turkey (except for wings and drumsticks) that was laid out in sort of a butterfly fashion. A layer of stuffing that consists of cornbread and pork rice is added, followed by the duck, similarly de-boned and presented. Another layer of stuffing is applied, followed by the smallest bird, the chicken. The whole thing is somehow turned into a giant pouch of poultry, sewn up, seasoned with some Cajun spices, and cooked in the oven as per normal.

The Turducken: Ready to serve, just before we busted it open like a pinata

The results? I'd have to say mixed at best. While the flavor of the meat was certainly passable, it lacked the moistness that we had become accustomed to with plain old turkey over the years. And then there was the mess. After the first slice we were dealing with an Avian Pinata of stuffing. None of it really stayed too well in tact as we cut into it.

Overall I think our crowd of twelve appreciated the effort but were glad that we also had that backup bird heating up in the smoker. Next time I think we won't mess with a good thing.

On Fire at Wing Dome!

It’s no secret that BowlingJoe is an aficionado of all things spicy. With that in mind, BowlingWidow and I paid a visit to a food joint that has been on what might be called my bucket list for a couple of years now. The place is called Wing Dome (I imagine the name was inspired by the Kingdome before it was blown to smithereens) and there are a few of them distributed around the Puget Sound. Unfortunately none particularly near casa de BowlingJoe.

So after our Pilates session on Saturday morning we trekked to North Seattle in an effort to assess just how hot their wing sauce really is. The different sauces heat “alarm” scale runs from one to seven. Seven-alarm sauce is reserved for those crazies who want a truly painful challenge. Seven minutes to eat seven wings with nothing to wash them down with or otherwise provide relief. I’ve seen the Wing Dome contestants’ pain up close on a Food Network TV show and opted not to give that a try. At least not now.

The Original Wing Dome in North Seattle

One-alarm is dubbed “mild and flavorful” while the six-alarm sauce has the tagline “I can’t feel my face”. That was the one for me. We ordered beers which, in retrospect, may not have been the brightest move since all it really does is move the heat around the tongue, not cooling things down a bit as a glass of milk might.

The wings arrived with plenty of six-alarm sauce coating them. The first three wings gave me little or no problem. As someone who puts Tabasco sauce on everything from nachos to macaroni and cheese I was thinking that this would be easy. But as I found out, the presence of habanero peppers in this dangerous stew had quite a cumulative heat effect on my veteran taste buds. By the time I got to the fifth of the six wings that were on my plate I was starting to sweat noticeably. Clearly the final wing would require concentration and focus if I wanted to hit the finish line without realizing a “reversal of fortune”.

Looks Like Another Victim of the Seven-Alarm Challenge to Me

Was I successful? Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle? Indeed I was. BowlingWidow even thought that I could have passed the seven-alarm challenge and earned a place on the Wing Dome Wall of Flame. I’ll have to think about that one, though. Perhaps I’ll buy one of those wings next time. If the flame is too hot, I’m only out $1.99. But if not, the challenge of conquering some of the hottest peppers know to man might just be added to that bucket list.

Out of the Darkness

BowlingWidow and I enjoy participating in events that combine exercise and a good cause. That’s why we immediately said “yes” to an opportunity that was presented to us a few months ago by one of her co-workers at Sno-Isle Libraries. The event, which took place a few days ago, was one of many that happen at various times and locations around the country and are known as the Out of the Darkness Community Walk.

The walk and resulting donations are a benefit for the non-profit American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. A few of the many purposes of the AFSP include the support of scientific studies to improve the understanding of suicides and their prevention, educating the public, and providing programs and resources for survivors of suicide loss and people at risk.

Here’s a statistic I just read the other day: in 2010, there were more American soldiers (468, including enlisted soldiers and veterans) that took their own lives than those killed in combat (462). The same with 2009 according to Congressional Quarterly.

The co-worker I referenced above lost her son to suicide while he was serving in Iraq in 2007. I’ll likely never understand how she feels, what her and her family have been through, and what they continue to go through. I can only imagine that there is nothing worse. As parents, our kids are supposed to outlive us by a generation, not the other way around.

Some of Team CRANE getting ready for the Out of the Darkness Walk

During the walk around Lake Padden in Bellingham, I wondered how we can have a national dialogue about cancer, heart disease, and so on…..but suicide and mental illness seem to get relatively little visibility. This is despite the fact that suicides claim 34,000 lives per year in this country. And like cancer and heart disease it doesn’t discriminate between rich or poor, black or white, male or female, young or old.

It seems like a tall order in the face of budget reductions and cutbacks but we should be as aggressive about identifying symptoms of depression and mental illness as we are about screening for cancer. Admittedly, it’s far more challenging to understand such symptoms but the human cost of not doing so is devastating.

I won’t pretend that this blog has a big audience but if someone who reads this volunteers their time or makes a donation in some way to the AFSP, then this post has been well worth my time.

Finally, and speaking of blogs, I’d like to give a shout out to a site created by an acquaintance I’ve known since 1974. She does a remarkable job of telling her own story of battling mental illness as well as commentary on current events related to the topic. It can be found at:

http://crazymer1.wordpress.com/

Michael T. Dogg, Remembered

Five years ago this month, we said goodbye to our friend and companion, Mike The Dog. To pay tribute to his life here is an obituary I wrote shortly after his death.

MICHAEL T. DOGG (1991 – 2006)

Our longtime resident and companion, Michael T. Dogg, was “put to rest” on September 22, 2006 after a short illness and has moved on to meet Dog. Mike was always quick to point out that, although his last name was spelled the same, he was not related to Snoop in any way.

Mike was an idiot, even by canine standards, and his medical records confirm that he had a brain approximately the size of a (small) pistachio nut. But he was a kind soul who loved his family and appropriately barked at the UPS truck as well as other dangers that threatened the family. Always lean, in his younger days he had greyhound speed and loved to sprint around 10 acre fields for no apparent reason.

In addition to running, his hobbies included coprophagy and the dominant mounting of any male dog that dared to set legs onto his territory (not that there's anything wrong with it).

Mike will be missed by his family: Tami, Joe and Ian Clark, as well as his cat and understudy Harvey D. Birdkill. In lieu of flowers, cards or donations, Mike asked prior to his death that well-wishers bark uncontrollably at the vacuum cleaner once or twice in his memory.

Orcas Island Getaway

I have a confession: I've been a native Washingtonian and resident for more than fifty years now, and there are places in this state that I can hardly believe I haven't visited. One of those places I can now happily check off that list. Although I've been to San Juan Island, I've never visited Orcas Island in the same vicinity until recently.

A member of my book group, The Plummeting Tortoises, happens to have a family cabin that sits on the north side of Orcas Island. We got together for an overnight stay last week where we discussed the book ("The Year of the Flood" by Margaret Atwood which we all liked a great deal) and did an admirable job of eating, drinking, listening to music and generally doing plenty of nothing.

View from the beach: Robert, Steven, Tim

In the morning I immediately hit the kitchen and prepared chorizo and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Give me any opportunity to impose Mexican food of any kind on a captive audience and I'm all over it.

One of the highlights? That would be Robert and Steven breaking out the dulcimers (doesn't everyone have a dulcimer or two sitting around the house?) with Steven's vocal and Tim accompanying on body percussion. Here is a clip I recorded in a clandestine moment:

Weekend in Leavenworth

Okay, so the town of Leavenworth, WA is to Bavarian culture what surimi is to authentic crab meat. But it's been years since we've made the scene there and BowlingWidow chose this Central Washington destination for the celebration of her 50th birthday (oops, did I just reveal her age???).

The first thing you notice when you get into town is the traffic. My advice for anyone arriving on a hot Saturday after noon is this: find a free gravel parking lot on the edge of town and walk. You'll get there faster. The second thing you notice is that every business in town is decked out in some sort of quaint livery. As one might expect this is true for the vast amounts of wine, cheese and sausage shops. But it also spills over into Safeway, Union 76, and McDonalds. Any city that can get McDonalds to roll over and fetch like that is okay in my book. And here's an added bonus: there are more clean public toilets per capita in Leavenworth than any place I've been. I can't believe that Frommers hasn't mentioned this.

A quiet Sunday morning in Leavenworth

After we finished making our first pass through town, we had some time before checking in to the bed and breakfast. And there is one craft brewery, Icicle Brewing, in Leavenworth. I think you can connect the dots that lead to appetizers and a frosty IPA.

The place we stayed at was called Abdenblume, a top of the line B&B that's about a mile north of town. It was rustic and elegant with stylish and tasty breakfasts. I know this was the case because I couldn't pronounce the names of whatever it was we were being served. Just one complaint about things: the bed and the bathtub were so elevated that I needed a vaulting pole to get to them. I should have asked for the room that's made for the man with a 29-inch inseam.

Abdenblume bed and breakfast: that's our balcony on the left

Saturday's dinner was an unsuspected hit. We ate at a place called "South"a restaurant specializing in the traditional regional food of Mexico. BowlingWidow had the Fish Veracruz while I indulged on an array of pork tacos. Forget about being in the land of sauerkraut and go here. It's well worth it.

After Sunday's breakfast we ventured back into to town for a 2 hour float on Icicle Creek and the Wenatchee River. For just 17 bucks each, Tube Leavenworth will drive you to the river entrance, issue you a covered inner tube (that's surprisingly comfortable), and pick you up when it's all over. A great deal and it's quite the laid back experience. The only real "danger"is dodging the occasional rock or deadhead (no, not those kinds of deadheads) and avoiding bored anglers who cast their fishing lines at you.

BowlingJoe and his new friend

As luck would have it, we were dropped off after the float right next to a beer garden called Der Hinterhof. This played right into our hand as we hadn't had a bratwurst sandwich yet. This is a great place, outdoors with plenty of umbrellas and live music every now and then. BowlingWidow enjoyed a beer from their vast selection. I had to one-up her with my own liter tankard filled with draft dark lager from Roslyn Brewing. I figured that its keg made the 2 hour trip to the tap in better shape than something that was dispatched from Europe.

A true liter of beer

The next day we packed up and were outta there after the obligatory shopping for German mustard and a gift for Muffinheadedboy. But I'll be darned if we didn't get halfway home and realize we forgot to buy lederhosen. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Lunch With Dan Hicks

There are quite a few bands I've been listening to for a long time that I'd like to catch live. Last Friday was a perfect storm of an opportunity to chalk up another one of those. If you read about my Jethro Tull experience a couple of blogs ago, it's obvious that crowd behavior and excessive ticket prices are becoming more of a reason for NOT attending concerts as I enter that phase of life called curmudgeondom (if that is in fact a real word). That's why the prospect of a free noontime concert at a small park in downtown Seattle featuring Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks was a no-brainer for me. And I was more than willing to take a half-day of vacation to do it on a nice day (defined as a day with no rain in these parts).

It was probably a bit earlier than what the band is accustomed to for a start time but they answered the bell without any problems. Aside from Hicks performing vocals/acoustic guitar, there was a stand up bassist, a mandolin player/fiddler and two ladies on vocals and a host of different percussion instruments. Their music is described in Wikipedia as at the "intersection of cowboy folk, jazz, country, swing, bluegrass, pop, and gypsy music". Really. It's all over the place and a lot of fun to listen to, even when helicopters are flying overhead.

Dan Hicks and a couple of the Hot Licks

Dan Hicks is 70 now. He's obviously not as quick and nimble as he once was, but still not bad for someone who survived the San Francisco music scene of the 1960s and 70s as a member of The Charlatans. To be alive and touring after all of the "medication" that he likely partook in at that time is really saying something.

It was a fine day. And anytime it costs more to park the truck than to attend a concert, I view it as a perfectly good deal.

In Praise of Papa Murphy's

This isn't a food blog but I often find myself writing about food anyway. I'm dedicating this entry to one of mankind's greatest creations: the take and bake pizza. More specifically, Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza. Yeah, I know, it's fast food and not particularly healthy if you're counting calories. But that doesn't stop BowlingWidow and me from a weekly stampede to what has become a Friday night dinner ritual.

Papa Murphy's is a good company with an affordable and good tasting product. But don't just take my word for it. The other day, Consumer Reports gave them a stellar rating as the best pizza chain in America. Considering that they occupy strip mall real estate in every town with a population of greater than 5,000 this is good news.

Now, we don't just get a pizza, throw it in the oven for 15 minutes and call it good. Here's the drill:

1. Purchase a basic one-topping pizza with Canadian bacon or pepperoni. You can print a coupon on Papa Murphy's website for a large one-topping for around 7 bucks, which can be upgraded to a family size (their largest) for two dollars more. And don't forget to get your "frequent flyer"card punched while you're there. Ten punches is worth a $10 credit, or approximately a free pizza.

Before: The basic Papa Murphy's one-topping pizza

2. Put your own toppings on. You are empowered to put as much or as little of these as you'd like. A true custom pizza. We usually add: scallions (or red onion), green pepper, black olives, tomato (Roma or sun dried), garlic and Italian seasoning. And maybe a little extra mozzarella or Parmesan cheese. I've also been known to throw a few bottled sliced jalapeno rings on some slices with the understanding that they're a safe distance from BowlingWidow's slices of pizza.

3. Follow the cooking instructions.

4. Enjoy the sight and smell of your creation. It is art after all. Besides, it needs to cool down for a few minutes before you take the pizza cutter to it.

5. Slice, serve, and enjoy. Preferably with a nice Northwest brewed India Pale Ale.

After: Pizza as art and ready for the oven

6. Wait! There is more. If there are just two of you, there WILL be leftovers to wrap up and put in the fridge. And there's no better Saturday morning breakfast than pizza a la microwave.

Saturday Night Tull

Jethro Tull has long been one of my favorite bands. But before I get started here, I need to point this out for those who may be misinformed (probably nobody who reads this, but there are many out there): Jethro Tull is not a person in the band. Jethro Tull invented the seed drill in the 18th century. The guy you're really thinking of is Ian Anderson, the vocalist who also plays flute. If I only had a dollar for everyone who has told me, "Jethro Tull....I really like his music." No you don't.

I've seen them a few times over the years, and thought it would be a nice thing for Muffinheadedboy, at age 23, to catch their act before Ian Anderson and Martin Barre became Too Old to Rock and Roll and Too Young to Die. So, along with five other friends, we bought some non-reserved lawn tickets at the St. Michelle Winery outdoor amphitheater in Woodinville, WA. Forty-five bucks plus a $12 "service fee" from Ticketmaster (which I truly believe is misleading and borderline criminal. Someone recently wrote a book about where the service charge money really goes among other things).

Pre-concert at Village Wines (L-R): 1/2 of Rob, Caitlin, Tim, BowlingJoe,
Muffinheadedboy (Thanks to Leftynemesis and Geoff for taking the picture)

We rendezvoused at a nearby place called Village Wines for some food, conversation, and vino. Nice place. Very comfortable. A destination where that slice of humanity once known as "yuppies" might gather after they get done working at Microsoft or the law office.

Under threatening skies, we arrived at the venue around an hour before the show started. Most everyone else must have arrived a half-hour before us, as we parked our blankets plenty of distance away from the stage. We headed down the hill to fetch a bottle of wine or two and it became readily apparent that we were way behind the group of people in front of us in the wine drinking department, judging by the number of empty bottles on the ground next to them. OK...NOW I remember why I gave up going to large outdoor concert venues where alcohol is liberally served.

Our view of the show: at least it wasn't foggy

As the show started with Jethro Tull really sounding nice, one of the morons in front of us clearly didn't want to sit down, obstructing the view of many behind him. We asked him he wouldn't mind taking a seat after putting up with it for a while but he was having no part of it. Courtesy was clearly not his strong point and he appeared to be enjoying his role. It's one thing to be a sociopath. It's another thing to be a drunk. But to be drunk AND a sociopath is simply not acceptable. Eventually, Muffinheadedboy (whose lap he drunkenly stumbled upon at one point) and I had a bit of an animated chat with him. At that point, the so-called venue "security" noticed that there might be trouble and intervened. It would have been nice if they were observant and proactive enough to do something about Mr. Stupid during the first few minutes of the show but they obviously had no interest in doing so.

Oh, well. Nobody really got hurt. That is except for the small gash on another one of the drunk losers that he acquired in an impromptu wrestling match with his buddy. Too bad he wasn't a hemophiliac. The 57 bucks would have been worth paying.

Here's my scorecard for the night:

Jethro Tull Performance: B-plus (great band, good sound, not too loud)
Weather: C-minus (it only drizzled during the last song)
Venue: a generous C (at least from my vantage point)
Fellow Audience Members: .18 on the breathalyzer

The impeccable Ian Anderson (left) and Martin Barre of Jethro Tull

The Accidental Reverend Strikes Again!

A couple of weeks ago I officiated another wedding, my sixth, as my longtime bowling buddy Karl tied the knot with Petra. It took all of 5 or 10 minutes in a small park in Everett WA on a nice Memorial Day afternoon, with a few family members in attendance.

With the Happy Couple: Karl, BowlingJoe, Petra

My philosophy as a legal and functioning internet certified reverend in the Universal Life Church is quite simple: I don't advertise. I don't charge a fee. I really don't even have a yearning to perform weddings. BUT..if you're crazy enough to desire my services as a licensed Man of the (Loin) Cloth, then I'm crazy enough to accept the job. And to date, there are twelve of you out there who fall into that enigmatic category.

This all started several years ago when my friend Tim's daughter (Caitlin), who I've known her whole life, asked if I would officiate her wedding. I thanked her for asking but dismissed the idea and suggested that she find someone legitimate. She didn't take my "no"for an answer, however, and brought the topic up again. Since she asked me twice and appeared serious about it, I figured she actually did want Uncle BowlingJoe to do this. So it took place, in front of a nice crowd of her family and friends atop the Smith Tower in Seattle.

Since that fateful January night, friends, friends of friends, and family members have heard via word of mouth that I do this and have taken the plunge with The Accidental Reverend. I'll read whatever it is they want me to read for the occasion or even quickly improvise my way through. It's their day, not mine.

The Evidence: You Too Can be a Reverend in Minutes!

Finally, I can honestly state that my percentage of success as a wedding officiant is as good as or better than anyone in the business. They're all still together. Six for six. 100%. That's right up there with the Archbishop of Canterbury and clearly a better value for the customer. And yes, as an official in the Universal Life Church, I can legally perform exorcisms. Doing them in Latin, however, will cost you $200 plus expenses.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

Almost every one of these blogspot things has a listing of favorite sites and other blogs that people can visit with one click of the mouse. This one is no exception. I also have a short (and really, you’ve gotta keep it short) list of 12 places that I’ve found to be meaningful in some way on this blog. Believe me, I’d like to have more but nobody wants to sift through pages of stuff. I’ve broken things up into three categories: Bowling (naturally), Music & Entertainment, and Miscellaneous Blogs and Sites.

Taking it from the top, in the Bowling category are the standings for my Thursday Scratch Trios league. It’s been a regular Thursday event for me from fall through spring each of the last 11 years. I’ve met a lot of good people in this league and have made friendships that will last a lifetime. Scoring-wise, the high point was a couple of years ago when I achieved a goal of averaging at least 210 over the course of a season with a nice 213 posting. The biggest downer was this year in which I could only bring home a 192 average. There’s always next year, though.

Next is the Professional Bowlers Association website. Anything a bowling geek such as me wants to know about the PBA can be found there.

In bowling's last entry is Missy Parkin’s blog (formerly known as Missy Bellinder). Not only is she the first woman to have joined the PBA, she’s a good writer and keeps her blog current. She also throws the maximum 16 pound ball even though she’s not big and strong. It proves how important the use of gravity is in bowling. Missy just won the prestigious Queens event which was nice to see.

In the next category, leading off is Dancing About Architecture. I became acquainted with David through BowlingWidow’s work at the library system. He’s a library manager who is a lexicon of all things music. He’ll throw out interesting posts on a musical topic whenever he feels like it. They’re always straight to the point and he uses words about as efficiently as I’ve seen.

Ken Levine is an Emmy award winning comedy writer (M*A*S*H, The Simpsons, etc.) among other things, including Major League Baseball announcer. He was with the Seattle Mariners in the 1980s when they were awful. And he’s back with them again this year on a part-time basis (and once again, they’re awful). I’ll always remember Levine’s Law: when you walk the leadoff batter he comes around to score 100% of the time, unless he doesn’t. He blogs at least once a day. Some are funnier than others but now and then he hits one out of the park.

I’ve been listening to the music of Al Stewart since 1977 when I first put the needle on the vinyl and listened to “Lord Grenville” on the Year of the Cat album. I haven’t looked back. I think I must have seen him live more than 15 times over the years, rarely missing a Seattle-area stop. Al basically invented a music genre: historical folk rock. Back in the days before the internet, I’d go to the library to research the names and places that he was singing about. He continues to make relevant and interesting music to this day.

Al’s touring guitarist is Dave Nachmanoff. I’ve known Dave for several years now and am happy to say that he’s become a friend and has in fact played a couple of concerts at our house for small audiences. He’s the best of Al’s past guitarists over the years wrapped up into one outstanding performer. But as good as he is at music, he’s an even better fellow human being. And he’s got a great manager who will do a search on recent references to his name and pull up this blog post. (Hi, Jared!). I’ll be seeing Al and Dave perform this Saturday and also helping Dave sell (hopefully) tons of his CDs at the merchandise table at intermission and after the show.

Moving in to the miscellaneous category we have The Plummeting Tortoises website. That would be my book group which meets monthly. I’ve often said that I’m the only member of the US Bowling Congress who belongs to a reading club. That may not be far from the truth. The group, which I’ve blogged about in the past, consists of three high-achieving academic types….and me. The fact is, I replaced a dead guy in 2004, and they invited me to stay. I’m not sure how much I really contribute to discussions but I speculate that they keep me around because I bring good food to the meetings every now and again.

My newest link is to Snide Remarks. This is an interesting story of a guy who goes by TSnide. Unknown to me, TSnide had been following my blog (and here I thought that only family members and a couple of friends did). As it turns out, TSnide recognized the name Bill “Minnesota Mauler” Kuhn, a Boeing/bowling friend who moved back to Minnesota a few years ago, from a post I made recently.

I’ve never met TSnide in person and may never. But I think we’re quite a bit alike: we both obviously enjoy writing. He’s an experienced scratch bowler and bowling purist who is in the minority of those who get excited about televised bowling. Me too. He has a past in radio and follows the business. I do too (well, sort of……I had a weekly show in college but never really did anything after that like he did other than losing a bet and interning for a day). He generally avoids politics and religion on his blog but has described himself a social liberal and a fiscal conservative. Check. He drives slow and walks fast. That’s me. There are differences as well though, in fairness. For example, he’s a golfer and has five kids. Sorry, TSnide. I can understand your love of the links but I’ll never understand the five kids thing. One’s enough for us. Anyway, check out his blog. He has some good stuff to say.

Catherine has been my group fitness instructor at Boeing for nearly a couple of years now. She was key in helping me lose 30 pounds (well, I’ve kept most of it off anyway) and attaining much improved strength and cardiovascular health. On the flip side I’m also blaming her for messing up my center of gravity and sending my bowling scores plunging. But seriously folks….I can’t imagine that there’s anyone who is better as a fitness coach then she is. I secretly worry that she’s going to get too big for her Boeing gig and move away to make big bucks as someone who trains the rich and famous. Click here for an interview I did featuring her a while back.

CrazyMermaid is an old acquaintance who I knew when our families lived in Hawaii for a construction project in 1974-75. We were 13 or 14. (That year is a horrible saga for a future blog post). She had (and still may be fighting) a serious bout with mental illness that cost her a career as a project manager and landed her in a hospital for an extended period of time. It’s an interesting, well written series of blogs. A compelling read and it’s all true.

Finally, Butterfly in Norway was a co-worker of mine for several years. She retired from Boeing and trekked off to Norway to a new job and a new adventure. Since it’ll probably be a while before we make it to Scandinavia, I always look forward to her brilliant pictures and descriptions of everything from the mountains to the open markets. Recently, her husband of 39 years passed away after a courageous battle with cancer. Fortunately, she’s got an outstanding support system of friends and family. She’ll be alright.

So that’s what’s currently on the right margin of this page. As always, subject to change and updates.

Hockey, Eh?

It’s not easy to be a fan of professional sports in the Seattle area. Let’s take a quick look as to why that is:

1. A couple of years ago, Clay Bennett (with assists by David Stern and Howard Schultz) uprooted our Sonics and took them to Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City, for crying out loud. Wonder how long they’ll stay there. Now I was never a hardcore fan of the NBA, but at this point I have no idea who is in the playoffs nor do I care.

2. The 2011 Seattle Mariners are a lot like the 1979 Mariners, albeit in ballpark that’s far more fun to go to than the drab Kingdome was. Unfortunately, Kingdome-like attendance figures are being posted these days. 12,000 attendees just ain’t gonna cut it. Reminds me of my college days when we had the dome’s left field bleachers to ourselves as we taunted washed up Mariner outfielder Gorman Thomas relentlessly.

3. The Seahawks have “no direction home” as Bob Dylan might put it. QB Matt Hasselbeck will likely move on to another team and his heir apparent Charlie Whitehurst will have to do something other than hold a clipboard. Heck, there may not even BE an NFL season if owners and players can’t figure out how to divide up the billions.

4. OK, so maybe the soccer team, the Sounders, have given the city a bit of a pulse. Their games are somewhat entertaining. And there’s even a 30% chance that any given game won’t end in a tie.

But wait! There’s something happening north just of the border in Vancouver B.C. and I’m jumping on the bandwagon: Vancouver Canucks hockey. And not just hockey – playoff hockey! The Canucks finished with the best record in the NHL this season and just completed a nail-biting, high octane series against the Chicago Black Hawks. It was a sudden death overtime win in the seventh and deciding game. It can’t possibly get any closer.

The action is fast and furious. Watching games on high definition television is far superior to the old days when it was literally impossible to spot the puck (and really it still isn’t particularly easy for my 50-year-old set of eyes). And how do those guys do what they do on skates? I can’t even stand up on ice skates, let alone move forward, backward and plow into opponents at the speed of light.

The Canucks recently played their first game of the best of seven Western Conference semi-finals series …..and won 1-0 against the Nashville Predators. BowlingWidow doesn’t understand my new fascination with playoff hockey. I don’t fully understand it either. But I do know that what’s happening one country to the north of us is the best thing that’s happened in Seattle sports for years.

Now drop the puck!!!

Scandal On The Hardwoods!

After a three month hiatus, maybe it’s time to kickstart this blog again. Not too much has been happening since my last post in November. I did somehow manage to turn 50 years old in January and am now one of the newest members of AARP, that dastardly liberal organization that dares to advocate affordable health care for its members and society at large.

Recently one of my bowling friends suggested that I blog about a little friendly “bragging rights” competition that we’ve been having this season. Bear in mind that my game has been on life support this season and it’s extremely painful for me dwell on this topic. But here goes.

The background: there are four of us (Brian “Cagney and” Lacey, Bill “Minnesota Mauler” Kuhn, Rick “Pull Tab King” Petosa , and myself). Rick and I bowl at the same center, Brian is in the south Puget Sound, and Bill took his act to Minnesota a few years ago. Every week we keep track of our three game league series’ with the highest score garnering 4 points (and the fictitious crown for the week) the second highest 3 points and so on down to 1 point.

This year it’s been the Brian and Bill show as they’re both averaging a respectable 206 pins per game. The Pull Tab King and I are at 186 and 190, respectively, longing for the days when our averages were right there with them.

Why the huge variation in scoring? Let me explain using three words: performance enhancing drugs. It’s a dirty little secret in the bowling community. The public in general has no idea of the extent to which the integrity of league bowling has been damaged. Rick and I have repeatedly shown negative results after our required random testing. Sure they found high levels of Cascade hops in our urine that we can't explain, but nothing that falls on the illegal list.

On the other hand, surveillance cameras in the bathroom stalls where Brian bowls clearly show one of his teammates injecting him with anabolic steroids prior to a match. This immediately enhances his lean muscle mass, allowing him to bowl at a pin-crushing 4 miles per hour faster than the rest of us.

And remember what a reporter found in Mark McGwire’s locker when he was bulking up with the Oakland A’s? That’s right. Androstenedione. Let’s just say that in Bill’s Minnesota locker he’s got a few more things than a couple of bowling balls, a pair of shoes and a towel. When he lines up on the approach, The Minnesota Mauler has more juice in him than a ripe watermelon.

So there you have it. No sour grapes here. I’m not the least bit upset that, by far, I’m having my worst bowling season in memory. It’s just that those are the facts and I’m sticking to them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to document another of my Elvis sightings.

Bill "Minnesota Mauler" Kuhn", Rick "Pull Tab King" Petosa, Brian "Cagney and" Lacey