Saturday, June 30, 2012

Introducing The New Bob Dylan

Many years ago, when I was in sixth grade, our class was going through the process of having students choose elective courses for seventh grade, our first year of junior high school.  One of these electives was band.  The idea of learning to play music really appealed to me so I decided that that’s what I would pursue.

One day in late spring the junior high band director came to our school to administer a test to those who were interested in signing up for band.  The test mainly consisted of the student identifying tones and then comparing them to determine which note was higher, which was lower, and so on.  When BowlingJoe’s results were calculated, the band teacher called me aside personally and suggested that I might want to take Spanish as my elective.  So that’s what I ended up doing, and my discouraged self never really revisited music again.  This was too bad because I’ve always thought that the ability to play music would be far more satisfying than learning how to ask where the library is in Spanish.

BowlingJoe:  The Next Folk Music Sensation?
A few weeks ago, armed with some newly found free time and a hand-me-down guitar, I started to take guitar lessons from one of the instructors at Bigfoot Music, the establishment that Muffinheadedboy works at.  My teacher, a veteran local musician named Jim Peso, has claimed that he can teach anyone to play the guitar.  Jim, we’ll see if you can still say that after spending a few months with me.

As musically illiterate adult, I will say that after three lessons this journey will not be an easy one.  Even the most basic things such as holding the strings down on the neck accurately and with the proper finger pressure is an elusive operation for me.  And to get both hands to work in unison with one another is unthinkable now.  “Patience and repetition”, as Jim tells me.  That’s the key.  And since I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon and touring the country as the newest sensation in acoustic guitar performance I might as well just take a deep breath, keep practicing, and enjoy whatever small gains happen to be waiting for me.

But for now, should anyone have the misfortune of being within earshot of me and my attempts to execute a perfect D-minor chord, they have my deepest sympathy.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Joe, I have no doubt that with your perseverance, you will be challenging Nachmanoff for a touring spot with Al. After all, while I doubt statistics was your greatest love of life, look at what a fine Black Belt you became!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, cvow. In all honesty I think that becoming a Six Sigma Black Belt is slightly easier than being Al's guitarist. However, if I showed up at Al's place with an expensive bottle of wine from France he might just give me a 30 minute guitar lesson in return.

Anonymous said...

Oh I don't think becoming a BB is easier. After all, if you just hang a guitar around your neck that you strum once in awhile, put on a headgear and blow a few random notes into a harmonica, mumble something about peace and love, you can make it. Just look at Dylan!

I'm kinda worried because I like Dylan more and more all the time, but then I realize I have become half deaf.

Unknown said...

Just checking to see if your ready for prime time . Ahhhhh not yet joe.But keep up the good work ! Would a Spanish Guitar make any difference ?

Anonymous said...

cvow, Dylan is definitely an acquired taste. But I will say that nobody was writing song lyrics like he was in the 1960s. Jim, at this juncture the only thing that might make a difference is an "air guitar". But with your help....I'll get somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Dylan sang lyrics? What the ...?

Anonymous said...

Indeed he does. Here's a song, "Union Sundown", that was written nearly 30 years ago. It didn't mean a whole lot to me the first time I heard it, but he was right. (Sorry about the formatting).

Well, my shoes, they come from Singapore My flashlights from Taiwan My tablecloths from Malaysia My belt buckles from the Amazon

You know, this shirt I wear comes from the Philippines And the car I drive is a Chevrolet It was put together down in Argentina By a guy makin' thirty cents a day

Well, it's sundown on the union And what's made in the U.S.A Sure was a good idea Till greed got in the way

Well, this silk dress is from Hong Kong And the pearls are from Japan Well, the dog collars from India And the flower pots from Pakistan
All the furniture, it says "Made in Brazil" Where a woman, she slaved for sure Bringin' home thirty cents a day to a family of twelve You know, that's a lot of money to her

Well, it's sundown on the union And what's made in the U.S.A Sure was a good idea Till greed got in the way

Well, you know, lots of people complainin' that there is no work I say, Why you say that for When nothin' you got is U.S.-made? They don't make nothin' here no more

You know, capitalism is above the law It say, "It don't count less it sells." When it costs too much to build it at home You just build it cheaper someplace else

Well, it's sundown on the union And what's made in the U.S.A Sure was a good idea Till greed got in the way

Well, the job that you used to have They gave it to somebody down in El Salvador The unions are big business, friend And they're goin' out like a dinosaur

They used to grow food in Kansas Now they want to grow it on the moon and eat it raw

I can see the day coming when even your home garden Is gonna be against the law

Well, it's sundown on the union And what's made in the U.S.A Sure was a good idea Till greed got in the way

Democracy don't rule the world You'd better get that in your head This world is ruled by violence But I guess that's better left unsaid

From Broadway to the milky way That's a lot of territory indeed And a man's gonna do what he has to do When he's got a hungry mouth to feed

Well, it's sundown on the union And what's made in the U.S.A Sure was a good idea Till greed got in the way

Anonymous said...

Well, while I've never been fond of unions, I do bleed red, white, and blue, so the unions should love me. Except for when we were living in Europe, I have never owned a car that wasn't made by Ford, GM, or AMC. Do those companies go offshore for stuff? Sure, but I do what I can. I try very hard to buy "Made in the USA", but in many areas -- clothing and electronics in particular -- that's almost impossible to do.