BowlingJoe answers reader questions

Groovelily is beginning what could be a long journey to become a professional bowler. She had a few questions for me which I'm more than happy to answer. Photo is our "thrown together" 2007 City Tournament 5-man team. (L-R: Andy, Bob K., BowlingJoe, Bob P., Barry)

1. I've heard bowling alleys sometimes serve beer. Could this be true and does it have a positive or negative affect on the accuracy of the four-step approach?

Beer and bowling indeed do have a long and rich association with one another. They go together like pretzels and mustard. Like Penn and Teller. Like yuletide and eggnog. Like traffic and weather. It's a rare bowling center that doesn't serve beer these days. In the early days (before the Professional Bowling Association was formed) beer companies such as Budweiser, Pabst and Schlitz sponsored major leagues, mainly in the Midwest. And in modern times, around here, Redhook sponsors several competitive leagues. As for beer's affect on accuracy I'd have to cite the law of diminishing returns which states that "beyond some point, each additional unit of variable input yields less and less additional output". In other words, the introduction of alcohol can have a favorable affect on one's bowling mojo - but only up to a point. That point can be different for each individual and the key is to discover at which point of consumption your game starts to head south.

2. Rumor has it that the BowlingWidow can kick your butt at wii bowling. How do you explain this?

BowlingWidow obviously misspoke in this case. She can kick my butt at Wii Fit but not Wii Bowling. It's simply not going to happen in our lifetime.

3. What is the name of your bowling team, and do you all get to wear those cool shirts with your names on them?

Good question, as a team moniker can often set the tone for how a team performs throughout the year. In our scratch trios league, we mix up the players every year based on last year's averages and try to "level load" them such that each team starts out with an even shot to win the league. It wouldn't be fair to put your three best bowlers on the same team as they would repeatedly throttle the competition. As team captain though, Bowlingjoe usually names his team. For years we were called Pin Doctors. A clever play on words but we weren't winning with that so changed it to the lame "Eight Ball" last year for no apparent reason. And we still didn’t win. That being said there are plenty of clever team names out there to choose from including Split Happens, Gutter Tramps, and for those ladies-only (or transsexual) leagues, Dolls With Balls.
In league, we don't wear our names on our shirts as that's something that's usually done in big amateur and professional tournaments. Instead, Bowlingjoe opts to wear his customized bowling thong as a means of distracting his competition.