New Hope for Independence Day

Bowlingwidow and I were talking last night. We’ve lived in the unincorporated greater Marysville-Smokey Point area for the past 16 years. But from June 20th through July 10th every year we’re actually nothing more than a suburb of Boom City on the Tulalip Rez. Not so much this year, however. I realize it’s still early in the season, but there have been only a few scattered explosions within earshot over the last few days, none of which have shaken me from a relaxing slumber, causing my heart to race and my systolic number to shoot up 10 points. And I’m loving it.

I know I run the risk of sounding anti-American here, but the Fourth of July has morphed into my least favorite holiday over the years. I like fireworks displays as much as the next person. Let’s do them on the fourth and call it a day. But nooooo. Not where we live. For three weeks surrounding the holiday you’d think that community authorities have set up checkpoints on Smokey Point Boulevard – to make sure that you’re transporting the required amount of explosives. To improve the process, I’m thinking they could slap a window sticker on vehicles (perhaps similar to the above clip art) to save them from having to perform rechecks. It’s all about being Lean, after all.

But this year….who knows? Maybe we won’t be inundated for 20 out of 24 available daily hours by the usual crop of social skill-challenged kids (and adults) who can’t understand why those of us who have to get up at insane o’clock object to their 2am mortar fest. Perhaps when I clean my yard and roof, the amount of charred bottle rockets will number in the single digits. And maybe dogs and cats will get a break from the annual war games.

Call me a curmudgeon, but I never fathomed that $4.50 for both a gallon of gas and a gallon of milk would have such a calming residual effect on me, as well as the placement of a nice sized dent in the disposable incomes of people who are amused by making stuff explode over and over and over.

The Guemes Island Grill'N Guys

 
The 2007 Grill'N Guys Cover

For the last umpteen years, Bowlingwidow's family has hosted an annual gathering on beautiful Guemes Island, just north of Anacortes. It's become quite an event with anywhere between 30 and 50 people showing up on any given year. Horseshoes used to be the big activity at these things, but as a sign of these changing times impromptu soccer games are what can break out at any moment. The grandkids have now taken over making the call on recreation decisions. The laughs, insults and abundant amounts food have stayed the same though, I'm happy to report.

But for BowlingJoe, this isn't all about fun and games. There's not even enough time for me to run out and yellow card the little tykes after a cheap shot tackle. I'm the grill chef. And there's serious work to be done on the business end of the two grills that are enlisted into service. It all starts at 10:30 am when the two grills are set up, cleaned and checked. Inventory is accounted for. Ice is introduced to all of the required beverages in the coolers located in close proximity to the grill. It does get warm next to the grill and it's important that the chef's assistant runners have clear access to cold adult drinks that will provide enough nourishment to counteract the effects of the desert heat at all times. This is important in the blazing hot sun of the San Juan Islands on a June day.

During recent times, I've had the pleasure of working with Bowlingwidow's sister Tina's significant other, Earl (known to all as Graysqearl). Graysqearl, in addition to his ability to skillfully slow cook kosher wieners, is a fellow random Boeing employee, a fine drummer, handyman extraordinaire, and Photoshop artist. He is, in fact, responsible for a few Grill'N Guys magazine covers including last year's shown above (with special guest, apprentice Grill Boy). If you'd like a signed copy, please send us $200 in unmarked bills and we'll make your dream come true!

This year's extravaganza is now history but was a success. It didn't rain, nobody got food poisoning from undercooked meat, and we didn't lose any hamburgers or hot dogs to overly aggressive dogs. What's not to like about that?