Ring of Fire

BowlingJoe has been a fan of spicy foods and hot sauces since the early 1970s when the only thing that could be found in Port Angeles that was hotter than tomato sauce was Tabasco. (The original of course. The rest of the product line was 30 years away from being invented).

From an genetically acquired taste standpoint this makes absolutely no sense to me. My grandparents were of French-Canadian, Swedish, and English descent. Yet when I eat at Thai Restaurants, even 5-star dishes barely make me break a sweat. Jalapeno peppers go down like a dill pickle. Crushed red peppers on pizza? Always. And, although I draw the line at habaneros, I can’t get enough of the evil fire.

This all got me to thinking. Am I an addict? And is my stomach looking like a perforated PVC pipe in a drain field?

According to some research, when capsaicin, the chemical in spicy foods and peppers that makes them so hot, hits your tongue, your body registers the sensation as pain. This in turn triggers the release of endorphins, otherwise known as “happy” chemicals that give you an instant head-to-toe feeling of pleasure. While using spicy foods to feel pleasure may seem a bit similar to drug addiction, experts say there’s no harm in enjoying the burn and the ensuing rush of bliss.

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Just be careful you don’t get too used to the heat, otherwise other plain foods in your repertoire will start to taste bland and boring. That probably explains why I have a tendency to put Louisiana hot cajun sauce on my macaroni and cheese.

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An aisle at Double D Meats in Mountlake Terrace

And remember, if you bite into something fiery and find the pain unforgiving, capsaicin is a fat-soluble molecule. To calm the burn, don’t drink water, it'll only move the heat around to other parts of your mouth. Instead, drink whole milk or have a bite of ice cream for instant relief.

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Locally, if you're looking for a store that's the Taj Majal of heat, check out Double D Meats in Mountlake Terrace. Sure it's an award winning old fashioned butcher shop, but it also has aisles and aisles of hot sauce, barbecue sauces, peppers, and marinades. There's even a section behind a curtain for those naughty X-rated labels.

I'll end this tribute to the spices with an original salsa recipe that seems to be very popular. At least that's what they tell me at work when I bring it in. How bout it? Any other Chile-heads out there?

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BowlingJoe's Red Salsa

2 lbs. vine ripened tomatoes (blanched)

2 anaheim chile peppers (seeded)

4 jalapeno peppers (seeded to desired hotness)

1 medium yellow onion

3 scallions

4 garlic cloves

1 small bunch cilantro

juice from 1 lime

Lightly chop ingredients, process in salsa maker or food processor (be careful not to "over process" them). Chill in refrigerator. Serve with tortilla chips.

BoatingJoe?

Muffinheadedboy has a nice summer job this year at a Marine and Kayak Center called Popeye's at the Everett Marina. Most of it is retail sales and rentals, but one of his tasks is to assist the certified kayak instructor during weekly Thursday lessons. Back in June, during a weak moment, BowlingJoe said he'd show for a lesson sometime during the summer.

Last week, I took a few days off to resurface a deck, trim a couple of hedges, and some other things that people shouldn't be burning up precious vacation days to do. On Thursday it was time to switch gears and put up or shut up with a 2-hour kayak lesson. I headed straight to the wild waters of Silver Lake in Everett, an urban oasis in the shadows of Costco, after a quick pre-season bowling practice session at Evergreen Lanes.

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Muffinheadedboy gets the kayaks ready for action

When I arrived at the scene on a wickedly hot late afternoon, Muffin- headedboy and lead instructor Xon (pronounced "Zawn") Baker were setting out the 8 kayaks and paddles to be used. After some quick verbal instructions in which we were told how to paddle the things around, we were ready to hit the shores.

The first thing I noticed is that it just might present a challenge to install my body in the fairly small opening in the middle of the kayak which (like an airplane) is known as the "cockpit". I looked around for a tub of grease and a very large shoehorn to make the operation easier but there were none to be found.

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After a couple of false starts, we had success. The next challenge was to move the boat using the paddle while remaining above the surface of the water. I hadn't used a paddle quite like this before. They're like giant Q-Tips but with paddles on the two extremities instead of cotton swabs. Rule number one: you're less apt to tip over when you're relaxed. Rebuttal to rule number one: YOU try to relax when the boat starts to violently twist from left to right and right to left in less than 2 seconds.

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BowlingJoe somehow managing to stay afloat

("Is that a LEAD life vest he gave me, by the way?")

Eventually it did become apparent, however, that there would be no disastrous plunge into the lake if I just stayed focused and didn't try and do things such as watch the helicopter fly over the lake while paddling. Oh, and staying out of the way of the Hawaiian canoe and their seriously fast crew is a good idea as well.

When it came time for the optional mock rescue part of the program, BowlingJoe opted to stay dry. Several in the class, those potentially "serious" kayakers, did opt to take the Nestea Plunge only to have our heroes, Xon and Muffinheadeboy, come to the rescue. The accepted term for this exercise is a wet exit.

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After a bit more paddling around the lake it was time to head in and bring the equipment back to the staging area. Yep, kayaking was really a lot of fun and offers some great scenery and exercise. I may even try it again if the circumstances are right. But it'll be a cold day in hell before BowlingJoe feels more comfortable in the cockpit of a kayak than he does staring down ten pins and readying himself for battle on the hardwood approaches with his 15-pound weapon of choice.

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Mission Accomplished: Muffinheadedboy, BowlingJoe, Xon

"We're With The Band"

That’s what Dave Nachmanoff told us to say if any official looking people at the concert venue hassled us.

The adventure started this past Saturday morning, as Plummeting Tortoises Tim, Robert, and BowlingJoe hit the road from Marysville,WA in a 2005 Toyota Matrix. I’ll first say that many thanks go out to Bowlingwidow for somehow agreeing that it was an acceptable idea to loan her precious vehicle to a bunch of 40 and 50-something males of questionable maturity for an entire weekend. I owe you big time, dear.

Our destination was Moses Lake, Washington where our friend Dave would meet up with Al Stewart for a Saturday night show. Dave (featured in a June BowlingJoe blog that can be found in the archives) has been Al’s accompanying lead guitarist for several years now, in addition to recording and performing his own material, writing songs for others, and doing just about everything else that involves music.

BowlingJoe has been an Al Stewart fan (and darned near a completist) since 1977 on the day that I heard the first song, on vinyl naturally, on his signature “Year of the Cat” album. Tim had bought it and played it for me. The song was called “Lord Grenville” and it sent me scurrying to the library to learn about Sir Richard Grenville, a 16th century Elizabethan era sailor and explorer. His music was and continues to be relevant enough to inspire me to keep going back to the *virtual* library. It is 2008 after all. From the 1973 ballad “Old Admirals” (Admiral Lord Jackie Fisher, who resigned as First Sea Lord in 1915 after a dispute with Winston Churchill) through “Like William McKinley” on his new CD “Sparks of Ancient Light”, which won’t be released until September of this year, it’s always been about an entertaining paper chase for BowlingJoe.

We headed down I-5 and our first stop was to pick Dave up in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle where he played a house concert the night before. Having hosted Dave for a house show last year, it sounded like a fine night and I wish I could have attended. We dodged what looked like some sort of impromptu Seafair parade and were heading east on I-90 at 70mph before we knew it. The three of us and Dave exchanged greetings and told a few stories before we came up with a rough plan. We were clearly aware that, as Dave’s personal handlers, Al Stewart and hundreds of fans literally depended upon us to get him to the venue safely and functioning like a well-oiled machine when we did. I was to take the lead on gathering information on possible dinner ideas for Al. Tim and I would staff the merchandise table while Robert would be in the audience with a video camera filming some of the concert for Dave.

Tim, BowlingJoe, Dave, Robert at the Roslyn mural

Our first and only leg-stretching stop was in the small town of Roslyn, near the not-much-bigger town of Cle Elum in Central Washington. Roslyn was founded in 1886 as a coal mining town. But what it’s really know for is the fact that from 1990–1995, the television series "Northern Exposure" was filmed there. Many citizens of Roslyn appeared as extras in the show that was set in the fictional town of Cicely, Alaska. We took a few pictures, some video and moved on.

Some of you may want to know if we had any drugs for this crazy folk-rock road trip. Well, I’m happy to report that indeed we did. We had an incredible array: Metamucil, Imodium, prescription blood pressure medications, and even some Breathe Right nose strips to curtail the snoring during the anticipated wild evening at the motel.

We arrived at Moses Lake at around 3:15pm and checked into the Ameri-Stay Motel, none the worse for wear. Tim, Robert and I took over the “Al Stewart Suite”, as it turned out that Al and Ron Scott, one of his promoters, would be staying in Spokane that night. Being in a town of less than 18,000 in the middle of the Eastern Washington wilderness is….well….not exactly Al’s thing.

Dave headed to his room to do some ironing and catch his breath for a bit before the sound check that was rapidly approaching at 5:30. He had a pretty big breakfast that his house concert hosts prepared but the rest of us were looking for a little bit of inexpensive grub. We did that, making a very rare appearance at McDonalds, and checked out the only sushi restaurant in Moses Lake in case Al, a big fan of seaweed and raw fish, wanted us to pick something up for him for after the show. Like most restaurants in town, they closed early so delivery would have been the only option. As it turned out, he balked at the idea of less-than-fresh sushi (I can’t say that I blame him) and eventually opted for deli sandwiches that he and Ron went out and procured for after the show.

Al and Dave during the sound check

After a quick, “I thought YOU knew where the venue was” session between Robert and me that likely made Dave wonder if we were too incompetent to find the damn place, we saw a sign that said “Amphitheater”. We took that left turn thinking that there’s probably only one of those in Moses Lake. Of course we were right.

We parked near the stage at McCosh Park, unloaded Dave’s stuff and immediately set up to go to work. Well, it wasn’t all work. The three “roadies” were fortunate enough to be able to chat with Al for around 10 minutes outside of his temporary Winnebago headquarters. At first he didn’t really know what to make of us, but then seemed delighted that we knew such things as the fact that Tori Amos did vocals on his album “Last Days of the Century” and that he co-wrote an obscure and unreleased song called “No Sign of Rain” with Michelle Shocked. Nope. We weren’t hired hands from Moses Lake after all. We talked about Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan and Elvis Costello. And Al’s new CD of course. Life is a series of moments and this was one of them.

Tim in control at the merchandise table
The show started promptly at 8:00 with Dave performing an excellent three song set (“Square Peg Blues”, “Lucky”, and “Grateful”). The crowd responded well and this was confirmed later with a worthy response at the merchandise table.

Al then took the stage with Dave and started with “House of Clocks” as they often do and then progressed into other things including some songs from the not-yet-released disc. For many in the audience the highlight of the show was a brilliant 9-minute version of the epic song “Roads to Moscow” based on the life of Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Little did any of us in the Moses Lake venue know that Solzhenitsyn would die less than 24 hours later in Moscow at age 89.

Al and Dave giving the Moses Lake crowd what they want

When it was all said and done, Al Stewart turned in yet another outstanding performance with Dave Nachmanoff doing it all on lead guitar. We said goodbye to the Spokane-bound Ron and Al and headed back to the motel while Dave changed back into Levis and a comfortable t-shirt.

The only non-fast food place that was open for food at 11:30 pm in Moses Lake on a Saturday night is a sports bar and casino called Papa’s. And the only food they served at that time was pizza. It was across the parking lot from the motel and since beggars can’t be choosers, the four of us were all over it. The joint is connected to The Lake Bowl bowling center, which would normally make me very happy. But at that time of night it’s all about teenagers, strobe lights, thumping music and disco balls. If BowlingJoe dared to hit the approaches with his 15 pound orb, he’d be more apt to have a seizure than to toss a strike.

We made our way into Papa’s and occupied a booth overlooking the small but very noisy and active casino. Unlike Dave, the three of us tend to (out of necessity) take the “early to bed and early to rise” approach. It seemed odd to us that (a) there are colonies of people who hit their strides after midnight and (b) they all like to gamble.

We ordered a large combo pizza and some hefeweizen to wash it down as we listened to Dave tell some hilarious stories about being on the road and the interesting (often strange) people he’s met and worked with. Before we knew it, it was 1:00am and time to head back across the parking log to get some sleep prior to our 9:15am (a bit on the early side for Dave) gathering in the lobby to prepare for the road back to Seattle.

More laughs ensued on the seemingly fast trip back to “civilization” across the Columbia River and over the Cascade Range at Snoqualmie Pass. We needed music so we slid a Fountains of Wayne CD into the player and bobbed our heads to the great sounds and clever lyrics, following it up with a little bit of Martin Simpson folk flavoring that Tim had brought to finish up the trip. Dave was delivered safely to Sea-Tac airport at one o’ clock in plenty of time for his short flight to Sacramento, followed by a quick ride to Davis, where his family would greet him and celebrate the fact the he, like Al, survived the sojourn into the belly of the Eastern Washington wasteland and emerged unscathed.

We pointed the Matrix north and set it on autopilot. Mission accomplished. We looked at each other and just smiled. No need for words. We have the memory of a fine little weekend and nobody can take it away.

The last men standing: Tim, Dave Nachmanoff, Robert, Al Stewart, BowlingJoe