Meeting Ken Levine

This short blog post has been sitting in limbo for a while now, but it’s time for it to see the light of day.

I’m very fortunate in that every now and then I’ll get a chance to meet someone I admire and appreciate in the worlds of music, books, sports and so on.  Several weeks ago I had an opportunity to do that once again.

One of the links I have on this blog leads to another blog (and a darned good one) written by a guy named Ken Levine.  He’s actually had a few full-time careers over the years that include Emmy winning television writer (M*A*S*H, Cheers, and Frasier are among the many shows that he’s worked on).  He’s also written a few books, two of which I own and have read.  Oh, and in his spare time he’s a major league baseball broadcaster, currently with the Seattle Mariners.

BowlingJoe and Ken Levine

I first heard Levine on the radio back in the 1980s, the FIRST time he was with the Mariners.  Those were some god-awful Mariner teams that used to inhabit The Kingdome in those days (my old college buddies and I used to enjoy sitting in the left field cheap seats giving washed up Mariner left fielder Gorman Thomas "the business") .  But Ken Levine was a breath of fresh air.  When the first batter up in a given inning got to first on a base on balls, he’d quote what he called Levine’s Law, which states:  “When you walk the leadoff batter, he comes around to score 100% of the time.  Unless he doesn’t.”  How can you argue with that?

And then there were the traffic reports he’d give in the 9^th inning of another Mariner blowout loss waiting to become official.  He’d tell the listening audience to avoid the Highway 520 bridge due to an accident.  Of course that was fake.  Levine used the bridge to get home and wanted a clear path to get there after the game.

When I had the chance to meet him at the Mariner’s team store in Seattle and get a couple of books signed, I jumped on board.  During our short chat he was very friendly and gracious.  I think I tried to make a joke.  Something about how I enjoy reading his book during sittings in the smallest room of our house.  Which brings me to something I’ll call BowlingJoe’s Law:  “Never try and be funny around someone who writes comedy for a living.”  After all, you wouldn’t demonstrate your lightning fast left jab for Mike Tyson, right?  I should really thank Ken for not ejecting me from his book signing for that lapse in judgment.

Finally, I know he’d appreciate me hawking his latest book on this blog, even though I only get about 200 site visits a month, half from people who are somehow related to me (which isn’t bad but I’ll bet he gets 20,000).  So here you go, Ken, this one’s on me.  You can order Ken Levine’s hilarious new book, The Me Generation…By Me (Growing Up in the 60s), right here.  Available in Kindle or paperback.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Me-Generation-Growing-60s/dp/0615653529/ref=tmm_pap_title_0/188-3745147-0523011

Southport Lanes in Chicago

Well, here's a post that actually is about bowling for a change.  After the Chicago Cubs' baseball game we made a short walk from Wrigley Field to this unique little bowling and billiards joint called Southport Lanes and Billiards, on the corner of Southport Ave. and Henderson Street.

Southport Lanes and Billiards

Southport Lanes and Billiards was built in the 1920s by The Schlitz Brewing Company.  History tells us that, like a lot of places in its day, it was once a front for a speakeasy with a brothel located on the second floor.  But what makes it really unique is that this four-lane house is one of just a handful of alleys in this country that are currently using manual pinsetting machines operated by "pin boys" in the area behind the pins.

Southport and Its Four Lanes

In fact almost everything about the operation includes original equipment including the above-surface ball returns.  The main exception to that is the lanes themselves:  the expense of maintaining the original wood lanes was too much to bear for the owners so they were replaced with synthetic lanes and approaches a few years ago.

It was a slow day when we were there, so I was lucky enough to convince the general manager to give me a quick tour of what life is like behind the lanes, something he said he doesn't do too often.

Mind the Rules and Don't Bowl If You See Legs!

The first thing I noticed is that being skinny (which I'm not) would be an advantage in getting back there as I contorted my body up and around the ball return between lane one and the wall.  There's also not much room when you do get back there and I'd find it amazing if a year goes by without somebody getting hit by a ball or a flying pin.

We didn't actually bowl at Southport (and in case you're wondering there are no sanctioned leagues here).  Just being there was special enough.  Here's a good news story I found that was done by a Chicago TV station a couple of years ago, followed by some photos I took.

http://www.myfoxchicago.com/story/17819843/southport-lanes-and-billiards-preserves-chicago-history

A Brief Tour of Chicago

Hog Butcher for the World,

Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,

Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;

Stormy, husky, brawling,

City of the Big Shoulders

And so on goes the poem by Carl Sandburg that described Chicago in the early 20^th century.

When we visited for the first time recently, we really didn’t know what to expect.  We heard it was one of the great cities in the country to visit but didn’t exactly grasp why that was.  Now we do.

A View of Chicago From Willis Tower (aka Sears Tower)

Chicago is not a tourist Mecca.  There are no tropical beaches, no Mardi Gras-like celebrations, and no ancient ruins.  People don’t come to Chicago to gamble, climb mountains, slide down zip lines, play golf, or lounge around next to the pool in their thongs while drinking Margaritas.  If most of this appeals to you, don’t bother visiting Chicago.  Go to Vegas, Maui, or whatever other destination you’re being told by USA Today that you have to go visit.

Okay then, just what is so alluring about the place?  I can only speak for myself of course but here goes:

The Sports Scene:  Chicago is truly one of the great sports towns in the country.  They eat it up.  Football, basketball, baseball (two teams), hockey and soccer are all represented professionally.  It’s written and talked about in the media extensively.  And when a team isn’t performing the sportswriters tend to go into lambasting mode.  They’ve been doing that all year with the Chicago Cubs’ baseball team.  BowlingWidow and I attended a Cubs game at Wrigley Field, a gem of an old ballpark that was built in 1916.  I tried to give the poor Cubs some luck by buying a cap with the 1914 Cubs’ logo on it but they still lost 5-3.

Outside of Wrigley Field at the Home Plate Entrance

The Music Scene:  There’s plenty of music of all kinds going on here every day of the week.  We like to focus on the blues and jazz that’s happening.  Unfortunately almost all of it happens starting at around nine o’clock at night or later.  Bummer for those of us who are programmed to nod off at about that time.  Here’s at tip:  Andy’s Jazz Club in the North Loop has good live jazz music that starts at five, 7 days a week.

The Food Scene:  Chicago is the best place in the nation to get a good steak.  Too bad we really don’t eat steak.  Not to worry.  Every ethnicity is represented here in the culinary sense.  You’ve heard about Chicago style hot dogs and deep dish pizza, but we also had some of the best Mexican food in history.  Famous chef and restaurateur Rick Bayless lives in Chicago and he has ways of procuring the best Mexican ingredients.  We had incredible meals at his Frontera Grill on Clark Street.  BowlingWidow had one with three different kinds of mole sauces and I had a fabulous meal of marinated shredded pork with onion and black beans and a snappy habanero salsa.  Yes, of course, they gave me steamed tortillas to fill up with the mixture.

BowlingJoe at Wrigley Field:  The 1914 Cubs Hat Brought the Home Team No Luck

The Art Scene:  Here I’m talking about paintings.  We don’t “get” art.  I usually am way off the mark on what paintings represent or are supposed to represent.  I don’t know a still life painting from an impressionist painting and frankly it’s not that big of a deal to me.  But for someone that is into art I understand that Chicago is one of the best places outside of Paris to take it all in.

The Museum Scene:  There’s the Field Museum, The Museum of Science and Industry, The Planetarium.  And that’s just for starters.  The sad reality is that we didn’t get to see any of them on this go around.  They tend to close early in the day and we didn’t plan as well as we could have.  The silver lining is that now we have a reason to go back to Chicago in a couple of years.

Chicago From the Chicago River

The Neighborhood Scene:  Let’s see…they’ve got the Polish neighborhood, the Greek neighborhood, the Italian neighborhood, the Mexican neighborhood.  I’ll bet they even have a Liechtensteinian neighborhood.  Like the museums we didn’t get much of a chance to explore these.  Put it on the list for next time.

The Scene Scene:  For the best view of any city, head to the top of the Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower).  You’ll be at the 104^th floor with an opportunity walk out “over the streets below” on the 4-foot glass section that juts out from the building.  We also took an educational Architecture Cruise on the Chicago River where we learned a lot about the massive structures that dominate the skyline.

BowlingWidow in Seated Yoga Pose over Chicago at the Top of the Willis Tower

Some final thoughts about Chicago:

• Go to Portillo’s on Ontario Street for a real Chicago dog.  But don’t even ask them to put ketchup on it.  It’s a felony in Illinois to even ask.

The Portillo's Chicago Hot Dog:  A True Work of Art

• Don’t expect to find any good beer at Wrigley Field.  The best they have is Dos Equis Light in a can.  Avoid Old Style Beer.  They call it that because it was brewed in the year Wrigley was built.

• Visit Millennium Park and take your picture in the reflection of The Bean (actually called Cloud Gate).  It’s required during your time in Chicago.

The Cloud Gate Sculpture:  We're in the Distance Taking the Picture

• Stay in the Loop area if you can (we stayed at the Central LoopHotel).  It’s worth being close to a lot of things as well as having great access to the Elevated Rail System.  Anything around $150 a night is a great deal here.

• By and large, people are friendly and willing to help out if you have a question about how to get somewhere.  Even more so than in the Southeast, we found.  And certainly more so than in downtown Seattle.

• Don’t buy the Chicago style caramel/cheese popcorn mix and bring it on the plane.  It goes stale really fast.

At Midway Airport:  A Business That Has My Full Support

• Bottles of hot sauce WILL get confiscated from your carry-on luggage.  We had no checked baggage on this trip and bought a couple of bottles of habanero sauce to go from Frontera Grill.  The TSA caught this and took them away from me.  I can only imagine how good those TSA after-work fondue and appetizer parties are at Midway Airport.