What did it cost me? Six hours of being his whipping-boy and unpaid intern for his sports and “whatever the hell else he feels like talking about” show 3 to 6 With the Fish. Although I’d never lose a match deliberately, I knew that this was at least a task that would be interesting to me. Back in the olden days of college at CWU in Ellensburg WA, I had a weekly gig on the campus radio station, KCAT. We’re talking vinyl records, carts (kind of like 8-track tapes), and short circuiting soundboards. Those days are long gone with digital everything in these times.
Here are some highlights (and lowlights) of the day:
12:10 pm: I arrive at the lobby of the station in downtown Everett. The Fish is hustling out the door to attend a press conference at Comcast Arena. The Everett Silvertips hockey team hired a new coach and they were unveiling him for the media. I tag along.
12:42 pm: The Silvertips owner talks about what a great place Everett is and proceeds to congratulate Boeing on its upcoming test flight of the 787 Dreamliner. Oops. Apparently he didn’t get the memo stating that Boeing scrapped the flight several hours earlier.
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The Fish's workspace: reminds me of my kid's bedroom
1:22 pm: We make it back to the station. Fish immediately puts me to work writing trivia questions for an appearance he has later that night. He loves the work I did on U.S. State trivia, but throws up on my effort for Wimbledon trivia calling it “boring” and sending me back for more research.
1:53 pm: Melene, the station’s general sales manager, spots me walking around the office and thinks I’m an intruder. She offers me some bottled water, hoping I’m not there to rob the place.
2:28 pm: I continue to write trivia questions and do some research on celebrity birthdays for the week. Former Washington Husky and NFL kicker Chuck Nelson drops by the cubicle area to say hi to the Fish. Seems like a nice guy. The three of us spend a few minutes talking about obscure former pro kickers and how much their names sound like those of terrorists.
2:37 pm: The Fish asks me to make 20 copies of trivia answer forms for that night’s contestants. Two minutes go by and I’ve completely forgotten this, misplacing the originals in the process.
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Josh, the producer of the show doing his thing
3:03 pm: I’m still working on my assignment as the show starts. Given the big hockey news of the day, Fish is in studio right away for a live interview with the new coach, Craig Hartsburg, instead of the usual tomfoolery that ensues during the first half hour.
3:20 pm: After the first segment, the Fish is spotted outside the studio hugging an attractive young lady. A groupie?!?! I think nothing of it and take a couple of pictures of Fish and the new coach for the station a few minutes later.
3:26 pm: I go into the adjacent studio with Josh, the producer of the show, put on the headphones and belly-up to the mike. It turns out that the young lady is someone who is in a tavern dart league with Fish and is introduced to the listening audience only as The Dart Queen.
3:31 pm: Fish introduces me and asks me if I’d like to give The Dart Queen a massage. Knowing that my wife, BowlingWidow, is listening I skillfully dodge the question.
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Maury (left) and The Fish in between segments
3:48 pm: Time for ace salesman Maury "Movies with Maury" Eskenazi to do his thing. He reviews the new Jack Black film "Day One" and "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock. Maury is disappointed by "Day One" but likes "The Proposal" much to the disgust of the Fish who is clearly not a fan of Sandra Bullock.
4:15 pm: I go back to working on all things trivial while the Fish interviews a meth addict turned mixed martial arts star named Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm. Probably just as well that I missed it since I have no interest whatsoever in that particular form of entertainment. In between tasks I chat with Ronna in the sales department and give her the photos I took earlier for download onto Fish's website.
5:10 pm: The Fish makes a point of telling his audience that I screwed up my one day internship by failing to make copies when he asked (see 2:37 pm entry) and compares my work to the rest of the deadbeat student interns that he has to deal with. I base my excuse on age-related deterioration of brain cells.
5:23 pm: I finally get to read my “factoid” on the air, defined for this purpose as a short sports fact designed to impress people at parties and get them to say “gee, I didn’t know that.” It’s a requirement for all of his interns. Mine was:
During a one month time frame in 1965, Jack Nicklaus won the Masters, Willie Shoemaker rode the winner of the Kentucky Derby, the Boston Celtics won the NBA title and the Montreal Canadiens won the Stanley Cup.
Twenty-one years later, in 1986, history repeated itself as Nicklaus won the Masters at age 46, Shoemaker rode Ferdinand into the winners circle at the Kentucky Derby, and the Celtics and the Canadiens both won titles again.
BowlingJoe and The Fish: November 2005 at Husky Stadium
5:25 pm: Neither Fish or Producer Josh can think of anything insulting to say about the factoid as they do for most of their interns. I consider this a victory.
5:30 pm: We say our on air goodbyes. I point out that I’ll have a shot at redemption at his next bowling tournament. He responds with a terse “don’t count on it.” Game on, Fish!
5:33 pm: The remainder of the show is on tape. Fish sneaks out of the studio to get ready for trivia night. I head for home, glad that I was able to end my career as a middle-aged radio station intern on my own terms. Without getting fired.
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3-6 With the Fish can be heard Monday through Friday from 3:00 pm to 6:00 pm (no kidding?) on KRKO AM 1380 from Everett, WA.
Although I missed much of the show due to KRKO's lack of streaming radio on the internets, I did catch the introductory commercials from 3:00 PM - 3:06 PM. Then I was disappointed to hear this Fish fellow launch into an an interview with some hockey dude, instead of Bowlingjoe, the only reason I had tuned in. At 3:15 I was forced to turn off the emergency radio I had borrowed and go back inside and back to work. Fortunately I was able to tune in later to hear the factoid which left me confused, but satisfied that I had a chance to hear His Bowlingness on the air.
ReplyDeleteI am crushed that I was not alerted in time to listen to it myself. However, since it is a station that BowlingJoe listens to, no doubt is just a lot of left wing blathering, so maybe it's best I didn't know.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I am continually amazed at the stuff BowlingJoe finds on the internet (such as the factoid)and the speed with which he does it is phenomenal...we did not call him "Mr. Resourceful" in our group for nothing.
Joe, I did all I could to double Fish's listening audience from 8 to 16. We'll see how that went when the Arbitron Ratings come out.
ReplyDeletecvow, thanks for the comment. The Fish steers completely away from politics, instead choosing to talk sports, entertainment and make sexist jokes. He can tell you all about Reggie Jackson and even Michael Jackson, but if you ask him about Henry Jackson he'll just change the subject.