At the copa. Copa caaabaannnaaa... music and passion are always in fashion at the copa... i fell in llllooovvvvveeee.... copa cabanana....(not a baritone, but hey...)
I am looking for my sunglasses... waiting to be blinded by your amazing bowling genius-ness!
Thanks for the encouragement. I have no idea what I'm going to do with this but I'll sure have fun trying. When bowling season comes around in September, I'll sort of have a theme a la Captain ILL (albeit not on a solid daily basis like my new favorite exceptionally literate superhero).
In the meantime, please pray for me that I don't do something stupid here that's going to irritate and embarass bowlingwidow. I've demonstrated a tendency to shoot myself in the foot when it comes to this sort of thing. Thanks.
As you know, I recently decided to persue a side career as a professional bowler. This blog couldn't have come at a better time! I have so much to learn! So far I am just in the researtch stage...what do expect from a library employee! I am glad to find out that bowling season hasn't started yet!
Questions for BowlingJoe:
1. I've heard bowling alleys sometimes serve beer. Could this be true and does it have a positive or negative affect on the accuracy of the four-step approach?
2. Rumor has it that the BowlingWidow can kick your butt at wii bowling. How do you explain this?
3. What is the name of your bowling team, and do you all get to wear those cool shirts with your names on them?
Ok, we've got joe and bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow (and groovelily of course) posting here. bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow are married to each other. joe is not related, but works with bowlingwidow. Unlike bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow, joe is not a bowler, but has agreed to embarrass himself by trying. To top it off, bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow sometimes post as each other. If anyone has any ideas for making this more confusing, please speak up.
Luckily, I am already a pro-googler or it could have taken me a century to figure out all of Tony's references... Tony.... reveal yourself (well don't get arrested or anything). Are you a boeing guy, bowling guy, or a library guy? or none of the above?
In all fairness, I'll go first. I work with bowlingjoe's wife at the library...
Since Tony may not chime in for a while, I'll answer. Tony is a "retired" bowler and current Boeing guy. I used to work with him in Everett. In January, we were a bad influence on one another in the simulcast harness racing wagering room at the Fantasy Springs Casino in Indio, California.
That's a tough one. I haven't been able to find an exact number, but there was a recent study that suggested it's about half of what it takes to become a professional columnist.
How many years have you been bowling? I recently traveled to the Bowlers Hall of Fame and did not see any mention of "bowlingjoe" in the record books for bowling a 300. Such a shame! Maybe you should go commando rather than the thong, it might help your game.
Holy Carp bowlingjoe! Who knew there were so many bowlers in the world! I might be getting into this whole professional bowler gig at just the right time.
Like thisandthat said, don't go and let this get to your head, but you may just surpass The Captain in blog popularity (don't tell him i said so, he is known to be sensitive about such things. And as we have seen in the past, he does have a darkside.)
So, do you know all of these bowlingsoandso's? Let's see a cast of characters....
Groovelily, bowling has been the most popular participant sport in the United States for many years running. Not everyone wants to admit that they participate, though. It's a lot like quietly being a Barry Manilow fan if you get my drift.
As far as this cast of characters is concerned, I do know bowlingagent's identity but it would be unethical for me to unmask him in a public forum such as this. I will only say that he's a fellow Port Angeles native, a Herald newspaper columnist, and a solid B-list celebrity in this county. Well, maybe C-list. If you really want to know, I'm sure BowlingWidow will be happy to tell you.
Honestly, I don't know exactly who bowlinggod is. I have some theories as I notified several of my kegling (old slang for bowling) colleagues of this new blog.
Contrary to what was implied in bowlinggod's posting, BowlingJoe does have one perfect 300 game to his credit that can be accessed under his real name at the Bowling HOF. Perhaps we'll hear more from bowlinggod in the not too distant future...
Be careful. Bowlingagent is a bit testy this week. The Mariners are in shambles, the Sonics are booking passage to Oklahoma City, and the AquaSox lost their opener. Don't look for things to get better either until Skate America comes to the Events Center in October.
bowlingagent, I'll have you know i read the sport section for the first time in 80 years, just cuz i saw your article. Your readership increased by one!
Nice! And groovelily, don't let that little newspaper picture of bowlingagent deceive you. People are constantly coming up to him and asking if he's Brad Pitt. It's gotten to the point where we can't even enjoy a bowl of pho noodle soup at a restaurant in peace and quiet together anymore.
Thanks, Bowlingagent. An appropriate response on the day after George Carlin died. (RIP George...I'll miss your seven words and your contribution to free speech)
Well, i once again had to use google to decipher the conversation... now i knew who carlin was, but the "seven words" reference threw me off... so here is the funny-ish thing. I used one of the seven in today's scrabble game. The most un-ladylike one, of course (beginning with a letter towards the beginning of the alphabet). Non-bowling joe felt this was really a form of cheating, since he doesn't feel free to use such a word in the presence of groovelily. And, yes you can swear in scrabble.
Okay, Groovelily. Which of the seven was it? I happen to know that they are (in order as Carlin recited them)
s**t p*ss f**k c**t co**suck** mo***f****r t*ts
You mentioned that it was early in the alphabet. The 3rd one, 4th one and 5th one are the only ones that could fit that criterion. This is stunning as I'm having a difficult time picturing a classy lady such as groovelily using any of those words in a scrabble contest, let alone those three.
This is great. Bowlingagent and I grew up something like 6 blocks apart in Port Angeles but never really hung out together at that time (without revealing his age, he's....um....a couple of years older). Obviously we were listening to the same vinyl obscene LP comedy albums. If only our mothers knew.
It seems odd in today's world that kids would get excited about the release of a comedy album as a big event, but that's what guys like Carlin, Steve Martin and Bill Cosby brought to the table back then.
A bit ago, I went to my ticket stub collection from yesteryear and checked out the evidence that I saw Carlin at the Paramount in Seattle on May 21, 1977. Section 1, Row W, Seat 15. I was glad I went. And I was glad that our kid got to go see him in Seattle a couple of years ago with some friends. Yeah, he was filthy but he was insightful and right on in so many ways, too. Not afraid to call BS on people who abuse power and trust in politics and religion, and do it in a way that made you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe.
I'm thinking and hoping that he's one of those guys whose work is going to be really recognized by society after he's left us. But then again I thought that about Frank Zappa and am still waiting.
I must have picked a google site that didn't have the whole transcript! Back to google I must go to get the whole story... the one i read (wasn't audio) covered only 1, 3 and 5. Five cracked me up... that it's a compound word and on their own neither word is a nasty word.
Anyway, this classy lady slapped down C**T for 9 points, thank you very much. I did offer to pick up the "C" so as to not make non-bowling joe blush everytime someone looked at the board, but I think he preferred being able to say "she did it". And, for whatever reason, I always seem to draw all the letters that make up swear words. We've put in a request with the bowlingwidow to get the adult version of the scrabble dictionary... right now we just have the family friendly dictionary. But, who's gonna challenge C**T?
Do classy ladies not swear? I might have to re-categorize myself...
Now Bowlingagent, I think it's fairly obvious that Bowlingjoe is a manly man, with testosterone levels that fall within the top 5% of the male population.
All you've got to do is look at the photograph in my latest blog to see my washboard abs and rippling muscles.
I loved Carlin's silliness. ("Ya got 100 odds and ends on a table and 99 fall off. Whaddaya have, an odd or an end?") Late in his life, his emphasis was more as a social commentator. While I agreed with most of the stuff he said, he seemed to grow progressively angrier as he got older and, I thought, less funny. That's not to take away any of his enormous impact as, IMHO, the greatest comedian who ever lived. His influence is obvious. Another sigh.
Good luck, Groovelily. He's only written one column in his career in which he's mentioned bowling in a serious light. Usually he just makes fun of the greatest participation sport in this country's history. It's a thinly disguised (and a very public) attack on BowlingJoe.
I'm sure he'll tell you that rock, paper, scissors is more difficult than bowling or something like that.
I've been reading much of this blog -- I had considered having an appendectomy today instead but then chose this after realizing I no longer had an appendix and didn't want to send a doctor off on a snipe hunt -- and actually finding an occasional mentally stimulating tidbit. Of course, bowlingjoe's blatherings are always entertaining. The thought of bowlingjoe in a thong is not entertaining. It could be used to frighten unruly children, but then the damned liberals would say we were stunting the poor little dears' growth or something. However, I digress...
I was initially amused the comments about bowlingagent's columns and admirably restrained myself from commenting how hard it must be to labor as a sportswriter in a region with no professional sports teams. Actually I refrained not because of sensitivity for bowlingagent because rather because I could not remember if Tacoma still had a bunch of sort of respectable footballers or not.
Now the conversation has swung to the late Carlin, who occasionally did tickle my funnybone -- even if he was a poor successor to the master of the genre -- Lenny Bruce. Some of us used to have that "Live" vinyl...yeah, whippersnappers, those were not frisbees, they actually produced sounds when placed on the old gramophone.
I don't know what six sigma sure means, but I admit I have heard of North Dakota. Isn't that the Siberia of the US?
I admit I have bowled a time or two, but came to the conclusion it was a sport for beer swilling deer hunters and perhaps tuba players. Now lawn bowling is quite a different thing. At least the bowlers wear proper hats and act in a gentile way.
My goodness, BowlingJoe, your blog is such a sweet ride! I'd just like to vouch for groovelily's "classy lady" status, although I have to admit this one took me by surprise. But, hey, 9 points is 9 points. Concerning BowlingJoe and the thong issue, I believe that only BowlingWidow can speak to that. Unless, of course, Graysqearl wants to hook us up with a Playgirl magazine cover featuring BowlingJoe.
Thanks, thisandthat. I may have a thong story but only bowlingwidow knows for sure.
Given a perfect day and the right amount of beverages, I'm sure that I'd allow graysqearl to shoot that BowlingJoe Playgirl covershot. But you have to understand that it's kind of like the concept of a "hundred year flood". It's probably not gonna happen. But then that's what we all thought about Iowa this year, right?
At the copa. Copa caaabaannnaaa... music and passion are always in fashion at the copa... i fell in llllooovvvvveeee.... copa cabanana....(not a baritone, but hey...)
ReplyDeleteI am looking for my sunglasses... waiting to be blinded by your amazing bowling genius-ness!
Gotta work better than a beer bottle. Yeah, that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement. I have no idea what I'm going to do with this but I'll sure have fun trying. When bowling season comes around in September, I'll sort of have a theme a la Captain ILL (albeit not on a solid daily basis like my new favorite exceptionally literate superhero).
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, please pray for me that I don't do something stupid here that's going to irritate and embarass bowlingwidow. I've demonstrated a tendency to shoot myself in the foot when it comes to this sort of thing. Thanks.
Joe
I have no idea why it defaulted to bowlingwidow's sign on. One more thing to figure out, I guess.
ReplyDeleteJoe
BowlingJoe~
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I recently decided to persue a side career as a professional bowler. This blog couldn't have come at a better time! I have so much to learn! So far I am just in the researtch stage...what do expect from a library employee! I am glad to find out that bowling season hasn't started yet!
Questions for BowlingJoe:
1. I've heard bowling alleys sometimes serve beer. Could this be true and does it have a positive or negative affect on the accuracy of the four-step approach?
2. Rumor has it that the BowlingWidow can kick your butt at wii bowling. How do you explain this?
3. What is the name of your bowling team, and do you all get to wear those cool shirts with your names on them?
Ok, we've got joe and bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow (and groovelily of course) posting here. bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow are married to each other. joe is not related, but works with bowlingwidow. Unlike bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow, joe is not a bowler, but has agreed to embarrass himself by trying. To top it off, bowlingjoe and bowlingwidow sometimes post as each other. If anyone has any ideas for making this more confusing, please speak up.
ReplyDeleteMay the ghosts of Andy Varapapa, Don Carter and Earl Anthony guide your spirit - Pay the man Shirley!!!
ReplyDeleteThe BowlingWidow would like to disassociate herself from anything Bowlingjoe has posted or will post in the future.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, I am already a pro-googler or it could have taken me a century to figure out all of Tony's references... Tony.... reveal yourself (well don't get arrested or anything). Are you a boeing guy, bowling guy, or a library guy? or none of the above?
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness, I'll go first. I work with bowlingjoe's wife at the library...
Since Tony may not chime in for a while, I'll answer. Tony is a "retired" bowler and current Boeing guy. I used to work with him in Everett. In January, we were a bad influence on one another in the simulcast harness racing wagering room at the Fantasy Springs Casino in Indio, California.
ReplyDeleteI just have one question. How many beers does it take for one to become a professional bowler?
ReplyDeleteThat's a tough one. I haven't been able to find an exact number, but there was a recent study that suggested it's about half of what it takes to become a professional columnist.
ReplyDeleteThere ARE no professional columnists. Ask anyone.
ReplyDeleteHow many years have you been bowling? I recently traveled to the Bowlers Hall of Fame and did not see any mention of "bowlingjoe" in the record books for bowling a 300. Such a shame! Maybe you should go commando rather than the thong, it might help your game.
ReplyDeleteHoly Carp bowlingjoe! Who knew there were so many bowlers in the world! I might be getting into this whole professional bowler gig at just the right time.
ReplyDeleteLike thisandthat said, don't go and let this get to your head, but you may just surpass The Captain in blog popularity (don't tell him i said so, he is known to be sensitive about such things. And as we have seen in the past, he does have a darkside.)
So, do you know all of these bowlingsoandso's? Let's see a cast of characters....
Groovelily, bowling has been the most popular participant sport in the United States for many years running. Not everyone wants to admit that they participate, though. It's a lot like quietly being a Barry Manilow fan if you get my drift.
ReplyDeleteAs far as this cast of characters is concerned, I do know bowlingagent's identity but it would be unethical for me to unmask him in a public forum such as this. I will only say that he's a fellow Port Angeles native, a Herald newspaper columnist, and a solid B-list celebrity in this county. Well, maybe C-list. If you really want to know, I'm sure BowlingWidow will be happy to tell you.
Honestly, I don't know exactly who bowlinggod is. I have some theories as I notified several of my kegling (old slang for bowling) colleagues of this new blog.
Contrary to what was implied in bowlinggod's posting, BowlingJoe does have one perfect 300 game to his credit that can be accessed under his real name at the Bowling HOF. Perhaps we'll hear more from bowlinggod in the not too distant future...
My guess...does he sleep a lot? And, please note, no help from bowlingwidow.
ReplyDeleteObviously, I have too much time on my hands...
Dang. I was hoping you would have guessed Wayne Kruse.
ReplyDeleteSleep a lot. Freaking hysterical.
ReplyDeleteI think BowlingWidow is very wise to post a disclaimer. ;-)
ReplyDeleteoriginal, i am sure. (Grin)
ReplyDeleteBe careful. Bowlingagent is a bit testy this week. The Mariners are in shambles, the Sonics are booking passage to Oklahoma City, and the AquaSox lost their opener. Don't look for things to get better either until Skate America comes to the Events Center in October.
ReplyDeleteBowlingJoe eats worms.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is the thanks I get after putting a link to Dangling Participles on my front page??? Sheesh. Tough crowd.
ReplyDeleteGroovelily has eaten Rattlesnake...
ReplyDeleteThat's not fair, bowlingjoe. bowlingagent does not need that kind of pressure on his dangling participles.
ReplyDeletebowlingagent, I'll have you know i read the sport section for the first time in 80 years, just cuz i saw your article. Your readership increased by one!
ReplyDeleteNice! And groovelily, don't let that little newspaper picture of bowlingagent deceive you. People are constantly coming up to him and asking if he's Brad Pitt. It's gotten to the point where we can't even enjoy a bowl of pho noodle soup at a restaurant in peace and quiet together anymore.
ReplyDeleteGroovelily, I applaud your wisdom as someone willing to expand her horizons. Bowlingjoe, I've long admired your prodigious penchant for bullshit.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bowlingagent. An appropriate response on the day after George Carlin died. (RIP George...I'll miss your seven words and your contribution to free speech)
ReplyDeleteWell, i once again had to use google to decipher the conversation... now i knew who carlin was, but the "seven words" reference threw me off... so here is the funny-ish thing. I used one of the seven in today's scrabble game. The most un-ladylike one, of course (beginning with a letter towards the beginning of the alphabet). Non-bowling joe felt this was really a form of cheating, since he doesn't feel free to use such a word in the presence of groovelily. And, yes you can swear in scrabble.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the continued enlightenment.
Okay, Groovelily. Which of the seven was it? I happen to know that they are (in order as Carlin recited them)
ReplyDeletes**t
p*ss
f**k
c**t
co**suck**
mo***f****r
t*ts
You mentioned that it was early in the alphabet. The 3rd one, 4th one and 5th one are the only ones that could fit that criterion. This is stunning as I'm having a difficult time picturing a classy lady such as groovelily using any of those words in a scrabble contest, let alone those three.
Can you comment on this disturbing development?
And as George said, "t*ts" doesn't even belong on the list. He said it sounds like a snack. "I know," he said. "It IS a snack."
ReplyDeleteThen he mentioned Corn T*ts, something else T*ts, Tater T*ts ...
Sorry. Just reminiscing. Sigh.
This is great. Bowlingagent and I grew up something like 6 blocks apart in Port Angeles but never really hung out together at that time (without revealing his age, he's....um....a couple of years older). Obviously we were listening to the same vinyl obscene LP comedy albums. If only our mothers knew.
ReplyDeleteIt seems odd in today's world that kids would get excited about the release of a comedy album as a big event, but that's what guys like Carlin, Steve Martin and Bill Cosby brought to the table back then.
A bit ago, I went to my ticket stub collection from yesteryear and checked out the evidence that I saw Carlin at the Paramount in Seattle on May 21, 1977. Section 1, Row W, Seat 15. I was glad I went. And I was glad that our kid got to go see him in Seattle a couple of years ago with some friends. Yeah, he was filthy but he was insightful and right on in so many ways, too. Not afraid to call BS on people who abuse power and trust in politics and religion, and do it in a way that made you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe.
I'm thinking and hoping that he's one of those guys whose work is going to be really recognized by society after he's left us. But then again I thought that about Frank Zappa and am still waiting.
I must have picked a google site that didn't have the whole transcript! Back to google I must go to get the whole story... the one i read (wasn't audio) covered only 1, 3 and 5. Five cracked me up... that it's a compound word and on their own neither word is a nasty word.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this classy lady slapped down C**T for 9 points, thank you very much. I did offer to pick up the "C" so as to not make non-bowling joe blush everytime someone looked at the board, but I think he preferred being able to say "she did it". And, for whatever reason, I always seem to draw all the letters that make up swear words. We've put in a request with the bowlingwidow to get the adult version of the scrabble dictionary... right now we just have the family friendly dictionary. But, who's gonna challenge C**T?
Do classy ladies not swear? I might have to re-categorize myself...
Oh, so you got nine points. That makes it okay. My mistake.
ReplyDeleteNow you've filled me with guilt over my raunchy language...
ReplyDeleteOnly classy women curse. Including bowlingjoe.
ReplyDeleteNow Bowlingagent, I think it's fairly obvious that Bowlingjoe is a manly man, with testosterone levels that fall within the top 5% of the male population.
ReplyDeleteAll you've got to do is look at the photograph in my latest blog to see my washboard abs and rippling muscles.
I loved Carlin's silliness. ("Ya got 100 odds and ends on a table and 99 fall off. Whaddaya have, an odd or an end?") Late in his life, his emphasis was more as a social commentator. While I agreed with most of the stuff he said, he seemed to grow progressively angrier as he got older and, I thought, less funny. That's not to take away any of his enormous impact as, IMHO, the greatest comedian who ever lived. His influence is obvious. Another sigh.
ReplyDeletehey bowling agent... i was hoping you might write a story about the rock paper scissors championship...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.boston.com/lifestyle/articles/2008/06/24/chicopee_man_wins_rock_paper_scissors_championship_and_50000/
well i don't know why it cut off the link...
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Groovelily. He's only written one column in his career in which he's mentioned bowling in a serious light. Usually he just makes fun of the greatest participation sport in this country's history. It's a thinly disguised (and a very public) attack on BowlingJoe.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he'll tell you that rock, paper, scissors is more difficult than bowling or something like that.
rock paper scissors might be the only sporting event that i have a shot at winning... (it is a recognized sport, right?)
ReplyDeleteExcept, it makes no sense... how come rock doesn't win every time? Rock should be able to kick everyone's a**.
I've been reading much of this blog -- I had considered having an appendectomy today instead but then chose this after realizing I no longer had an appendix and didn't want to send a doctor off on a snipe hunt -- and actually finding an occasional mentally stimulating tidbit. Of course, bowlingjoe's blatherings are always entertaining. The thought of bowlingjoe in a thong is not entertaining. It could be used to frighten unruly children, but then the damned liberals would say we were stunting the poor little dears' growth or something. However, I digress...
ReplyDeleteI was initially amused the comments about bowlingagent's columns and admirably restrained myself from commenting how hard it must be to labor as a sportswriter in a region with no professional sports teams. Actually I refrained not because of sensitivity for bowlingagent because rather because I could not remember if Tacoma still had a bunch of sort of respectable footballers or not.
Now the conversation has swung to the late Carlin, who occasionally did tickle my funnybone -- even if he was a poor successor to the master of the genre -- Lenny Bruce. Some of us used to have that "Live" vinyl...yeah, whippersnappers, those were not frisbees, they actually produced sounds when placed on the old gramophone.
My sweet Lord, that last post was poorly written. I must be tired.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm not 100% sure, I'm nearly six sigma sure that I know who cvow is.
ReplyDeleteHe grew up in North Dakota so he deserves our sympathy instead of our wrath.
I don't know what six sigma sure means, but I admit I have heard of North Dakota. Isn't that the Siberia of the US?
ReplyDeleteI admit I have bowled a time or two, but came to the conclusion it was a sport for beer swilling deer hunters and perhaps tuba players. Now lawn bowling is quite a different thing. At least the bowlers wear proper hats and act in a gentile way.
Hm.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, BowlingJoe, your blog is such a sweet ride! I'd just like to vouch for groovelily's "classy lady" status, although I have to admit this one took me by surprise. But, hey, 9 points is 9 points. Concerning BowlingJoe and the thong issue, I believe that only BowlingWidow can speak to that. Unless, of course, Graysqearl wants to hook us up with a Playgirl magazine cover featuring BowlingJoe.
ReplyDeleteThanks, thisandthat. I may have a thong story but only bowlingwidow knows for sure.
ReplyDeleteGiven a perfect day and the right amount of beverages, I'm sure that I'd allow graysqearl to shoot that BowlingJoe Playgirl covershot. But you have to understand that it's kind of like the concept of a "hundred year flood". It's probably not gonna happen. But then that's what we all thought about Iowa this year, right?