Lunch With Dan Hicks

There are quite a few bands I've been listening to for a long time that I'd like to catch live. Last Friday was a perfect storm of an opportunity to chalk up another one of those. If you read about my Jethro Tull experience a couple of blogs ago, it's obvious that crowd behavior and excessive ticket prices are becoming more of a reason for NOT attending concerts as I enter that phase of life called curmudgeondom (if that is in fact a real word). That's why the prospect of a free noontime concert at a small park in downtown Seattle featuring Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks was a no-brainer for me. And I was more than willing to take a half-day of vacation to do it on a nice day (defined as a day with no rain in these parts).

It was probably a bit earlier than what the band is accustomed to for a start time but they answered the bell without any problems. Aside from Hicks performing vocals/acoustic guitar, there was a stand up bassist, a mandolin player/fiddler and two ladies on vocals and a host of different percussion instruments. Their music is described in Wikipedia as at the "intersection of cowboy folk, jazz, country, swing, bluegrass, pop, and gypsy music". Really. It's all over the place and a lot of fun to listen to, even when helicopters are flying overhead.

Dan Hicks and a couple of the Hot Licks

Dan Hicks is 70 now. He's obviously not as quick and nimble as he once was, but still not bad for someone who survived the San Francisco music scene of the 1960s and 70s as a member of The Charlatans. To be alive and touring after all of the "medication" that he likely partook in at that time is really saying something.

It was a fine day. And anytime it costs more to park the truck than to attend a concert, I view it as a perfectly good deal.

In Praise of Papa Murphy's

This isn't a food blog but I often find myself writing about food anyway. I'm dedicating this entry to one of mankind's greatest creations: the take and bake pizza. More specifically, Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza. Yeah, I know, it's fast food and not particularly healthy if you're counting calories. But that doesn't stop BowlingWidow and me from a weekly stampede to what has become a Friday night dinner ritual.

Papa Murphy's is a good company with an affordable and good tasting product. But don't just take my word for it. The other day, Consumer Reports gave them a stellar rating as the best pizza chain in America. Considering that they occupy strip mall real estate in every town with a population of greater than 5,000 this is good news.

Now, we don't just get a pizza, throw it in the oven for 15 minutes and call it good. Here's the drill:

1. Purchase a basic one-topping pizza with Canadian bacon or pepperoni. You can print a coupon on Papa Murphy's website for a large one-topping for around 7 bucks, which can be upgraded to a family size (their largest) for two dollars more. And don't forget to get your "frequent flyer"card punched while you're there. Ten punches is worth a $10 credit, or approximately a free pizza.

Before: The basic Papa Murphy's one-topping pizza

2. Put your own toppings on. You are empowered to put as much or as little of these as you'd like. A true custom pizza. We usually add: scallions (or red onion), green pepper, black olives, tomato (Roma or sun dried), garlic and Italian seasoning. And maybe a little extra mozzarella or Parmesan cheese. I've also been known to throw a few bottled sliced jalapeno rings on some slices with the understanding that they're a safe distance from BowlingWidow's slices of pizza.

3. Follow the cooking instructions.

4. Enjoy the sight and smell of your creation. It is art after all. Besides, it needs to cool down for a few minutes before you take the pizza cutter to it.

5. Slice, serve, and enjoy. Preferably with a nice Northwest brewed India Pale Ale.

After: Pizza as art and ready for the oven

6. Wait! There is more. If there are just two of you, there WILL be leftovers to wrap up and put in the fridge. And there's no better Saturday morning breakfast than pizza a la microwave.

Saturday Night Tull

Jethro Tull has long been one of my favorite bands. But before I get started here, I need to point this out for those who may be misinformed (probably nobody who reads this, but there are many out there): Jethro Tull is not a person in the band. Jethro Tull invented the seed drill in the 18th century. The guy you're really thinking of is Ian Anderson, the vocalist who also plays flute. If I only had a dollar for everyone who has told me, "Jethro Tull....I really like his music." No you don't.

I've seen them a few times over the years, and thought it would be a nice thing for Muffinheadedboy, at age 23, to catch their act before Ian Anderson and Martin Barre became Too Old to Rock and Roll and Too Young to Die. So, along with five other friends, we bought some non-reserved lawn tickets at the St. Michelle Winery outdoor amphitheater in Woodinville, WA. Forty-five bucks plus a $12 "service fee" from Ticketmaster (which I truly believe is misleading and borderline criminal. Someone recently wrote a book about where the service charge money really goes among other things).

Pre-concert at Village Wines (L-R): 1/2 of Rob, Caitlin, Tim, BowlingJoe,
Muffinheadedboy (Thanks to Leftynemesis and Geoff for taking the picture)

We rendezvoused at a nearby place called Village Wines for some food, conversation, and vino. Nice place. Very comfortable. A destination where that slice of humanity once known as "yuppies" might gather after they get done working at Microsoft or the law office.

Under threatening skies, we arrived at the venue around an hour before the show started. Most everyone else must have arrived a half-hour before us, as we parked our blankets plenty of distance away from the stage. We headed down the hill to fetch a bottle of wine or two and it became readily apparent that we were way behind the group of people in front of us in the wine drinking department, judging by the number of empty bottles on the ground next to them. OK...NOW I remember why I gave up going to large outdoor concert venues where alcohol is liberally served.

Our view of the show: at least it wasn't foggy

As the show started with Jethro Tull really sounding nice, one of the morons in front of us clearly didn't want to sit down, obstructing the view of many behind him. We asked him he wouldn't mind taking a seat after putting up with it for a while but he was having no part of it. Courtesy was clearly not his strong point and he appeared to be enjoying his role. It's one thing to be a sociopath. It's another thing to be a drunk. But to be drunk AND a sociopath is simply not acceptable. Eventually, Muffinheadedboy (whose lap he drunkenly stumbled upon at one point) and I had a bit of an animated chat with him. At that point, the so-called venue "security" noticed that there might be trouble and intervened. It would have been nice if they were observant and proactive enough to do something about Mr. Stupid during the first few minutes of the show but they obviously had no interest in doing so.

Oh, well. Nobody really got hurt. That is except for the small gash on another one of the drunk losers that he acquired in an impromptu wrestling match with his buddy. Too bad he wasn't a hemophiliac. The 57 bucks would have been worth paying.

Here's my scorecard for the night:

Jethro Tull Performance: B-plus (great band, good sound, not too loud)
Weather: C-minus (it only drizzled during the last song)
Venue: a generous C (at least from my vantage point)
Fellow Audience Members: .18 on the breathalyzer

The impeccable Ian Anderson (left) and Martin Barre of Jethro Tull

The Accidental Reverend Strikes Again!

A couple of weeks ago I officiated another wedding, my sixth, as my longtime bowling buddy Karl tied the knot with Petra. It took all of 5 or 10 minutes in a small park in Everett WA on a nice Memorial Day afternoon, with a few family members in attendance.

With the Happy Couple: Karl, BowlingJoe, Petra

My philosophy as a legal and functioning internet certified reverend in the Universal Life Church is quite simple: I don't advertise. I don't charge a fee. I really don't even have a yearning to perform weddings. BUT..if you're crazy enough to desire my services as a licensed Man of the (Loin) Cloth, then I'm crazy enough to accept the job. And to date, there are twelve of you out there who fall into that enigmatic category.

This all started several years ago when my friend Tim's daughter (Caitlin), who I've known her whole life, asked if I would officiate her wedding. I thanked her for asking but dismissed the idea and suggested that she find someone legitimate. She didn't take my "no"for an answer, however, and brought the topic up again. Since she asked me twice and appeared serious about it, I figured she actually did want Uncle BowlingJoe to do this. So it took place, in front of a nice crowd of her family and friends atop the Smith Tower in Seattle.

Since that fateful January night, friends, friends of friends, and family members have heard via word of mouth that I do this and have taken the plunge with The Accidental Reverend. I'll read whatever it is they want me to read for the occasion or even quickly improvise my way through. It's their day, not mine.

The Evidence: You Too Can be a Reverend in Minutes!

Finally, I can honestly state that my percentage of success as a wedding officiant is as good as or better than anyone in the business. They're all still together. Six for six. 100%. That's right up there with the Archbishop of Canterbury and clearly a better value for the customer. And yes, as an official in the Universal Life Church, I can legally perform exorcisms. Doing them in Latin, however, will cost you $200 plus expenses.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

Almost every one of these blogspot things has a listing of favorite sites and other blogs that people can visit with one click of the mouse. This one is no exception. I also have a short (and really, you’ve gotta keep it short) list of 12 places that I’ve found to be meaningful in some way on this blog. Believe me, I’d like to have more but nobody wants to sift through pages of stuff. I’ve broken things up into three categories: Bowling (naturally), Music & Entertainment, and Miscellaneous Blogs and Sites.

Taking it from the top, in the Bowling category are the standings for my Thursday Scratch Trios league. It’s been a regular Thursday event for me from fall through spring each of the last 11 years. I’ve met a lot of good people in this league and have made friendships that will last a lifetime. Scoring-wise, the high point was a couple of years ago when I achieved a goal of averaging at least 210 over the course of a season with a nice 213 posting. The biggest downer was this year in which I could only bring home a 192 average. There’s always next year, though.

Next is the Professional Bowlers Association website. Anything a bowling geek such as me wants to know about the PBA can be found there.

In bowling's last entry is Missy Parkin’s blog (formerly known as Missy Bellinder). Not only is she the first woman to have joined the PBA, she’s a good writer and keeps her blog current. She also throws the maximum 16 pound ball even though she’s not big and strong. It proves how important the use of gravity is in bowling. Missy just won the prestigious Queens event which was nice to see.

In the next category, leading off is Dancing About Architecture. I became acquainted with David through BowlingWidow’s work at the library system. He’s a library manager who is a lexicon of all things music. He’ll throw out interesting posts on a musical topic whenever he feels like it. They’re always straight to the point and he uses words about as efficiently as I’ve seen.

Ken Levine is an Emmy award winning comedy writer (M*A*S*H, The Simpsons, etc.) among other things, including Major League Baseball announcer. He was with the Seattle Mariners in the 1980s when they were awful. And he’s back with them again this year on a part-time basis (and once again, they’re awful). I’ll always remember Levine’s Law: when you walk the leadoff batter he comes around to score 100% of the time, unless he doesn’t. He blogs at least once a day. Some are funnier than others but now and then he hits one out of the park.

I’ve been listening to the music of Al Stewart since 1977 when I first put the needle on the vinyl and listened to “Lord Grenville” on the Year of the Cat album. I haven’t looked back. I think I must have seen him live more than 15 times over the years, rarely missing a Seattle-area stop. Al basically invented a music genre: historical folk rock. Back in the days before the internet, I’d go to the library to research the names and places that he was singing about. He continues to make relevant and interesting music to this day.

Al’s touring guitarist is Dave Nachmanoff. I’ve known Dave for several years now and am happy to say that he’s become a friend and has in fact played a couple of concerts at our house for small audiences. He’s the best of Al’s past guitarists over the years wrapped up into one outstanding performer. But as good as he is at music, he’s an even better fellow human being. And he’s got a great manager who will do a search on recent references to his name and pull up this blog post. (Hi, Jared!). I’ll be seeing Al and Dave perform this Saturday and also helping Dave sell (hopefully) tons of his CDs at the merchandise table at intermission and after the show.

Moving in to the miscellaneous category we have The Plummeting Tortoises website. That would be my book group which meets monthly. I’ve often said that I’m the only member of the US Bowling Congress who belongs to a reading club. That may not be far from the truth. The group, which I’ve blogged about in the past, consists of three high-achieving academic types….and me. The fact is, I replaced a dead guy in 2004, and they invited me to stay. I’m not sure how much I really contribute to discussions but I speculate that they keep me around because I bring good food to the meetings every now and again.

My newest link is to Snide Remarks. This is an interesting story of a guy who goes by TSnide. Unknown to me, TSnide had been following my blog (and here I thought that only family members and a couple of friends did). As it turns out, TSnide recognized the name Bill “Minnesota Mauler” Kuhn, a Boeing/bowling friend who moved back to Minnesota a few years ago, from a post I made recently.

I’ve never met TSnide in person and may never. But I think we’re quite a bit alike: we both obviously enjoy writing. He’s an experienced scratch bowler and bowling purist who is in the minority of those who get excited about televised bowling. Me too. He has a past in radio and follows the business. I do too (well, sort of……I had a weekly show in college but never really did anything after that like he did other than losing a bet and interning for a day). He generally avoids politics and religion on his blog but has described himself a social liberal and a fiscal conservative. Check. He drives slow and walks fast. That’s me. There are differences as well though, in fairness. For example, he’s a golfer and has five kids. Sorry, TSnide. I can understand your love of the links but I’ll never understand the five kids thing. One’s enough for us. Anyway, check out his blog. He has some good stuff to say.

Catherine has been my group fitness instructor at Boeing for nearly a couple of years now. She was key in helping me lose 30 pounds (well, I’ve kept most of it off anyway) and attaining much improved strength and cardiovascular health. On the flip side I’m also blaming her for messing up my center of gravity and sending my bowling scores plunging. But seriously folks….I can’t imagine that there’s anyone who is better as a fitness coach then she is. I secretly worry that she’s going to get too big for her Boeing gig and move away to make big bucks as someone who trains the rich and famous. Click here for an interview I did featuring her a while back.

CrazyMermaid is an old acquaintance who I knew when our families lived in Hawaii for a construction project in 1974-75. We were 13 or 14. (That year is a horrible saga for a future blog post). She had (and still may be fighting) a serious bout with mental illness that cost her a career as a project manager and landed her in a hospital for an extended period of time. It’s an interesting, well written series of blogs. A compelling read and it’s all true.

Finally, Butterfly in Norway was a co-worker of mine for several years. She retired from Boeing and trekked off to Norway to a new job and a new adventure. Since it’ll probably be a while before we make it to Scandinavia, I always look forward to her brilliant pictures and descriptions of everything from the mountains to the open markets. Recently, her husband of 39 years passed away after a courageous battle with cancer. Fortunately, she’s got an outstanding support system of friends and family. She’ll be alright.

So that’s what’s currently on the right margin of this page. As always, subject to change and updates.

Hockey, Eh?

It’s not easy to be a fan of professional sports in the Seattle area. Let’s take a quick look as to why that is:

1. A couple of years ago, Clay Bennett (with assists by David Stern and Howard Schultz) uprooted our Sonics and took them to Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City, for crying out loud. Wonder how long they’ll stay there. Now I was never a hardcore fan of the NBA, but at this point I have no idea who is in the playoffs nor do I care.

2. The 2011 Seattle Mariners are a lot like the 1979 Mariners, albeit in ballpark that’s far more fun to go to than the drab Kingdome was. Unfortunately, Kingdome-like attendance figures are being posted these days. 12,000 attendees just ain’t gonna cut it. Reminds me of my college days when we had the dome’s left field bleachers to ourselves as we taunted washed up Mariner outfielder Gorman Thomas relentlessly.

3. The Seahawks have “no direction home” as Bob Dylan might put it. QB Matt Hasselbeck will likely move on to another team and his heir apparent Charlie Whitehurst will have to do something other than hold a clipboard. Heck, there may not even BE an NFL season if owners and players can’t figure out how to divide up the billions.

4. OK, so maybe the soccer team, the Sounders, have given the city a bit of a pulse. Their games are somewhat entertaining. And there’s even a 30% chance that any given game won’t end in a tie.

But wait! There’s something happening north just of the border in Vancouver B.C. and I’m jumping on the bandwagon: Vancouver Canucks hockey. And not just hockey – playoff hockey! The Canucks finished with the best record in the NHL this season and just completed a nail-biting, high octane series against the Chicago Black Hawks. It was a sudden death overtime win in the seventh and deciding game. It can’t possibly get any closer.

The action is fast and furious. Watching games on high definition television is far superior to the old days when it was literally impossible to spot the puck (and really it still isn’t particularly easy for my 50-year-old set of eyes). And how do those guys do what they do on skates? I can’t even stand up on ice skates, let alone move forward, backward and plow into opponents at the speed of light.

The Canucks recently played their first game of the best of seven Western Conference semi-finals series …..and won 1-0 against the Nashville Predators. BowlingWidow doesn’t understand my new fascination with playoff hockey. I don’t fully understand it either. But I do know that what’s happening one country to the north of us is the best thing that’s happened in Seattle sports for years.

Now drop the puck!!!

Scandal On The Hardwoods!

After a three month hiatus, maybe it’s time to kickstart this blog again. Not too much has been happening since my last post in November. I did somehow manage to turn 50 years old in January and am now one of the newest members of AARP, that dastardly liberal organization that dares to advocate affordable health care for its members and society at large.

Recently one of my bowling friends suggested that I blog about a little friendly “bragging rights” competition that we’ve been having this season. Bear in mind that my game has been on life support this season and it’s extremely painful for me dwell on this topic. But here goes.

The background: there are four of us (Brian “Cagney and” Lacey, Bill “Minnesota Mauler” Kuhn, Rick “Pull Tab King” Petosa , and myself). Rick and I bowl at the same center, Brian is in the south Puget Sound, and Bill took his act to Minnesota a few years ago. Every week we keep track of our three game league series’ with the highest score garnering 4 points (and the fictitious crown for the week) the second highest 3 points and so on down to 1 point.

This year it’s been the Brian and Bill show as they’re both averaging a respectable 206 pins per game. The Pull Tab King and I are at 186 and 190, respectively, longing for the days when our averages were right there with them.

Why the huge variation in scoring? Let me explain using three words: performance enhancing drugs. It’s a dirty little secret in the bowling community. The public in general has no idea of the extent to which the integrity of league bowling has been damaged. Rick and I have repeatedly shown negative results after our required random testing. Sure they found high levels of Cascade hops in our urine that we can't explain, but nothing that falls on the illegal list.

On the other hand, surveillance cameras in the bathroom stalls where Brian bowls clearly show one of his teammates injecting him with anabolic steroids prior to a match. This immediately enhances his lean muscle mass, allowing him to bowl at a pin-crushing 4 miles per hour faster than the rest of us.

And remember what a reporter found in Mark McGwire’s locker when he was bulking up with the Oakland A’s? That’s right. Androstenedione. Let’s just say that in Bill’s Minnesota locker he’s got a few more things than a couple of bowling balls, a pair of shoes and a towel. When he lines up on the approach, The Minnesota Mauler has more juice in him than a ripe watermelon.

So there you have it. No sour grapes here. I’m not the least bit upset that, by far, I’m having my worst bowling season in memory. It’s just that those are the facts and I’m sticking to them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to document another of my Elvis sightings.

Bill "Minnesota Mauler" Kuhn", Rick "Pull Tab King" Petosa, Brian "Cagney and" Lacey